Articles are available for reprint as long as the author is acknowledged: Domenick J. Maglio Ph.D.

Tuesday, November 14, 2017

COACHING PARENTS TO BE ON THE SAME PAGE

COACHING PARENTS TO BE ON THE SAME PAGE
By Domenick J. Maglio PhD. Traditional Realist

Parents are a very important part of the school community. They can either be supportive, neutral or antagonistic to the education their child is receiving at school. When parents are not on the same page with the school no matter what the staff is going to do to help the student it will be undermined by the parent. This has to be immediately corrected if the student is going to succeed in that particular setting.

All parents should be greeted with a required meeting when the child first enters the school. This is a necessary step to understand the type of family dynamics the child lives in. Parents should be encouraged to describe what they want from the school. This initial meeting also should explain in a straightforward manner the philosophy, standards and expectations of the school. Any misunderstandings can and should be discussed and resolved before becoming an issue in a follow up meeting.

This meeting should focus on helping the parents comprehend the reasons for the school’s policies and how they will benefit their child. Most parents find these meetings instructive and allay many of their apprehensions. These meetings need to happen until the parents have reached a high level of comfort and understanding of the program.  The parents should be informed continually should any problems concerning their child’s education arise. These difficulties should be addressed as soon as possible in a meeting called by the parents or school. Honest two-way communication can be established to keep everyone on the same page.

These meetings also help determine the best communication method to employ with every parent. The same way every student is unique, every family is unique. Some parents are emphatic they want to be immediately contacted about each and every problem the child might encounter. Many other parents expect the school to handle whatever problems arise as they are very busy with a hectic lifestyle. Understanding the parental expectation for the school is necessary to build a bond between the parents and the school.

Whatever the communication process, every parent needs to be informed with a quick response when they specifically ask any questions. At times an issue may come up that needs to be further explored where a phone call or note might be sufficient. At others, in order to resolve an issue, a sit down meeting is necessary. Regardless of the method, everyone involved should be satisfied the issue has been resolved with clarity and approval or the problem will fester into a larger one.

Parent’s negative opinion of the school operation usually will be sufficient to undermine the school authority figures’ requirements of a student. Many requests by teachers are good in the long run but often are tedious and repetitive for the student in the short run. These necessary but less than exciting or interesting requirements can result in the student’s playing elaborate games with both their parents and teacher to turn them against each other. A negative statement toward a teacher by a parent could be enough for the student to ignore his school responsibilities since he feels his parents will support him.  This will often have an unnecessary and debilitating effect on his motivation to do well.

Student game playing of pitting parental power against the teachers and administration should be addressed as soon as possible. After being identified by the school a conference should be arranged to explain the school’s reasons for their actions. The student should be part of the meeting from the beginning to share his perspective and acknowledge the facts presented by the school. Once there is agreement on the exact scenario of what took place an appropriate solution can be formulated.

These meetings should be constructive; on one hand the child learns the parents and the school are on the same page and he needs to conform to their expectations. On the other hand the school might learn that the family and the student might never be happy or appropriate in this facility. An honest and thoughtful statement by the staff would inform them that indeed they should find a school better suited to them.

Often parents learn their child is playing games to avoid assignments he does not like doing, which are often given to help memorizing material. Other times the parent may feel the school is not the right setting for their child’s education according to their expectations. In both cases the school, family and student benefit from honestly clarifying each other’s expectations to insure the best decision for everyone’s self interest.

The labor intensive process of keeping parents informed about school policy and the student’s functioning in all areas creates a wholesome educational environment. Everyone involved with the school’s educational process should be on the same page to provide the student with quality education.



Domenick Maglio, PhD. is a columnist carried by various newspapers, an author of several books and owner/director of Wider Horizons School, a college prep program. Dr. Maglio is an author of weekly newspaper articles, INVASION WITHIN  and a new just published book, entitled, IN CHARGE PARENTING In a PC World. You can visit Dr. Maglio at www.drmaglio.blogspot.com.








Tuesday, October 31, 2017

STUDENTS HAVE TO PERSEVERE TO DO WELL

STUDENTS HAVE TO PERSEVERE TO DO WELL
By Domenick J. Maglio Phd. Traditional Realist

Practically every parent of a preschooler will announce to the school administrator that his or her child is exceptionally smart. Usually they are correct since most children are very knowledgeable and talented in certain areas but not all. Young children at this early stage of development are able to absorb an incredible amount of material very readily.

Many early bloomers continue to find doing most activities easy and effortless but eventually they will “hit a wall” where things become difficult. For the first time they have to devise an approach to overcome something that challenges them. They have to learn the process of focusing their energy to find a solution. This usually takes time and stick-to-itiveness to grasp difficult material for these students. For the first time they need to observe, study, try to improve and teach themselves many new skills, which they never needed before. This decision to improve is a crucial challenge that either they accept and confront their personal difficulty or they pretend the problem does not affect them. If they do not address their academic weaknesses they fall further and further behind. When the previously advanced students give up by resting on their reputation as good students, the lack of urgency to do better does not bode well for these previously bright students.

Only 56% of college students graduate after 6 years in college while almost half of these do not although most have the ability to complete it in the traditional four years. The expression that you can do anything you put your mind to include graduating from college. The willingness to work hard for an extended length of time to reach goals is a better predictor of students graduating from college than standardized test scores, income levels or the parents graduated from college. In other words, effort, perseverance, drive, determination, passion, will power and “grit” or whatever you want to call it is the important variable of a student navigating the hurdles and obstacles necessary to graduate from college. Too many college students seem unwilling or unable to motivate and to do what is necessary to push to get across the finish line.

Researcher, Angela Duckworth of the University of Pennsylvania, studied thousands of public school juniors.  The study confirmed “grit” was the most important variable to successfully completing college. She noted that the same passion and perseverance was found in spelling bee contestants and West Point cadets to excel in a fierce competitive environment. The Navy Seal selection process is predicated upon the physical and mental tasks becoming extremely difficult so that candidates will self select to leave the program. The warriors who are left standing are the cream-of-the-crop possessing perseverance and are better able to successfully complete missions.

“When the going gets tough, the tough get going,” This phrase seems to sum up competitive winners in all aspects of life. These go getters figure out every angle to have an edge. Students who had to work hard to earn their grades in earlier years, unlike those who were naturally bright and talented, had to teach themselves how to do well. These previously average or failing students had to work hard to improve their standing. Failure is a great teacher. They realize the importance of time manage to optimize their available time and fill in many academic gaps. By carefully studying, analyzing any and all tasks they become more efficient in retaining information through specifically employing and developing memory techniques. Most of these striving students create and meet deadlines in keeping their own commitments to self and others. This produces positive work habits such as reading instructions thoroughly, following directions and studying difficult material until they comprehend the new concepts. Most understand they have to self-reward to stay motivated for the long haul of completing their academic studies using these techniques and others. By concentrated effort these techniques turn failure into triumph.

As the students find new methods to learn more effectively and retain knowledge they become empowered to set higher and higher standards and expectations for themselves. The work ethic grows. Reading more and attempting more complicated and complex problems stimulates more abstract thinking. These breakthroughs increase their drive to put more effort into conquering new academic challenges.

Regardless if a student has a great academic aptitude, once the young adult enters college, there will be many temptations to capture the student’s attention and time. Without the drive and discipline to give sufficient effort and time to their studies, assignments and meeting of all other personal reality demands the student is not going to be successful. They need a large dose of passion to complete their degree requirements. Many excellent, intelligent students lives will be less than their full potential if they do not develop these traits.

Graduates who did everything they needed to do to complete their requirements and more have proved to themselves they would successfully hurdle the next life challenge. Each accomplishment strengthens the discipline, personal goals and will power to complete one’s future personal goals.

They will expand their objectives by possessing the self-discipline, perseverance to obtain the abilities to be successful. They have programmed themselves to do whatever it takes, which is a winning formula.


Domenick Maglio, PhD. is a columnist carried by various newspapers, an author of several books and owner/director of Wider Horizons School, a college prep program. Dr. Maglio is an author of weekly newspaper articles, INVASION WITHIN  and a new just published book, entitled, IN CHARGE PARENTING In a PC World. You can visit Dr. Maglio at www.drmaglio.blogspot.com.








Tuesday, October 24, 2017

NATIONALISM VERSUS GLOBALISM IS THE BATTLE

NATIONALISM VERSUS GLOBALISM IS THE BATTLE
By Domenick J. Maglio PhD. Traditional Realist

A large population is confused about our politics. They are looking through a traditional political lens of democrat versus republican. This dichotomy has become passé. We are now in the middle of a tug-o-war between elite globalists and citizens who want to continue American exceptionalism. The phenomenon of nationalism versus globalism is taking place worldwide as well as in the United States.

In the United States there are many republican politicians who supposedly support conservatism stating they were going to repeal Obamacare. They did not when they could. Many of these same republicans believe the wave of the future is a one-world government. Most democrats have believed for years in a one-world global government. John McCain, long-term Arizona senator, who ran for president in 2008 is a powerful member of the establishment. He delivered a speech on October 17, 2017 describing, “ half baked spurious nationalism cooked up by people who would rather find scapegoats than solve problems.” Three days later former President G.W. Bush, who remained totally silent during the Obama administration, spoke about nativism pulling nations apart. The same day former President Obama also took veiled swipes at President Trump. Political establishment elites are unified against Trump and are encouraging globalism while denigrating nationalism.  These politicians from both parties see themselves above the average citizen-“deplorables” who are powerless and ignorant of the underhanded complex and sophisticated political and cultural issues of governance.

There are some politicians who feel honored and privileged to serve the people’s interest. They are humbled by their mission of assisting Americans in maintaining their security, opportunity and their liberties from government oppression and restrictions. Unfortunately most other politicians have become addicted to the power, privilege, and the limelight that is part and parcel of being a national figure, becoming mini-gods over the lives of the citizens.

Our founders did not establish another autocratic society. After researching all past nation’s history they created the most exceptional free country in the world. They formulated a form of government that was unlike any other in the history of man. These enlightened men and their wives sacrificed their family’s wealth, personal safety and health to develop a constitutional republic form of government. This document insures liberties for all from the tyranny of the powerful and often corruptible elites. These wise visionaries set up a governmental system with checks and balances to prevent government from becoming dictatorial that has outlasted any other constitutional republic.

America has earned the title of the leader of the free world. Our exceptional nation should continue this role as long as it can maintain its integrity, principles and sovereignty. There is a strong, powerful and significant group of elite “smuggers” who will sell out our national interest to gain a permanent seat at the table of the largest and potentially most powerful government ever conceived: One-World-government. As most utopian experiments it will eventually crush the people’s beliefs, values and freedoms to force a centrally controlled police state down the throats of all previous nations of the world.


Governing previously distinct cultural nations will be an unmanageable task. Strong thought control and punishing consequences would have to be implemented to subdue any freedom loving, self reliant, and independent thinkers. These strong minded people would have to be broken and converted into submissive ones. Thought control and physical repression will have to be omnipresent to keep all the diverse cultural elements in check. It will have to become a massive totalitarian one-world government.

Open borders, being non-judgmental and the rewriting of history are some methods of the political and media elites to undermine patriotism and nationalism. A nation without enforcement of its borders loses its identity. When there are no limits for anyone to enter and remain in the country, it will degenerate into an open territory without clear, legal and moral value boundaries. Promoting non-judgmental thinking and behaving erodes the commonality of the people. This breaks the people into privileged interest groups without a thread of unity.

These narrow interest groups become emboldened to make more outrageous demands. As these ridiculous remarks are rejected, their anger and hatred is directed at our national institutions. Additionally our public and university educators are fueling the anti American sentiment by dismissing and distorting virtues, misrepresenting historical events and never mention the good of the USA.  They place the blame squarely on America without informing the students the context and all the facts for our actions. When the history of a nation is erased through writing a new political narrative, the cultural anchors of the country are loosened.

American’s are in a struggle to decide the future direction of our nation and probably the world. The issue is do we want to give up our sovereignty as a constitutional republic with all its freedoms and protections or join a massive bureaucratic organization with unbridled power.  The impossible mission to control the world’s population in a humane manner is self-evident. The choice of the USA to remain a nation will be a fatal blow to the One-World nightmare.

The answer should be obvious but the elites can manipulate the facts and have all the levels of power at their disposal. Although a strong stance by US citizens will change the momentum and any chance of terminating the greatest experiment of freedom of citizens.

A group of nations competing is a better model than a one-world government.
People whose needs are not being met in one country can vote with their feet to move to what they see as a superior one. The closer citizens are to the levers of power the greater the chance they have of influencing change in the direction of the country.


Domenick Maglio, PhD. is a columnist carried by various newspapers, an author of several books and owner/director of Wider Horizons School, a college prep program. Dr. Maglio is an author of weekly newspaper articles, INVASION WITHIN  and a new just published book, entitled, IN CHARGE PARENTING In a PC World. You can visit Dr. Maglio at www.drmaglio.blogspot.com.


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Tuesday, October 17, 2017

STRAIGHTENING A CROOKED TREE IS DIFFICULT

STRAIGHTENING A CROOKED TREE IS DIFFICULT
By Domenick J. Maglio PhD. Traditional Realist


When a person plants a young tree without proper soil preparation, the needed nutrients, water and pruning it is setting the stage for an unproductive and fragile plant.  Trees like most living things need to receive nurturing to blossom and survive. Once the tree is well established the attention of the caretaker is less important. Raising a child is like raising a tree.

The modern child rearing strategy of allowing the child to unfold with little supervision minimizes the responsibility and hassle of being a parent. According to this theory all the child’s self-preservation, social interactional, survival and thinking skills will spontaneously develop. The child’s growth does not have to be shaped, as it is already predetermined. Most importantly modern parents believe they have the power of affluence to protect their offspring when they get themselves into a serious crisis with authority figures.

The obvious flaw in this thinking process is it does not stand up to reality. Children need to be civilized to function well in our culture. Many parents are oblivious to the fact that children have to be taught how to speak, to eat, control their impulses, relate in a mannerly way, listen, think and a host of other attributes that form a full functioning, wholesome person. Obviously the high incidence of childhood mental disorders indicates it does not happen by osmosis.

Raising a properly acting child takes observation, specific consequences delivered in the right dosage and a timely manner. All children need training, some need more, others less. Even the child’s survival depends on the parent’s awareness and commands with strong, appropriate consequences to imprint important messages and behaviors in their minds.

 Untrained preschool children wander or dash from one area of interest to another and impulsively do what momentarily attracts them. This can be very dangerous. They often will not watch out for a vehicle before they run. Most childhood accidents are due to a lack of parental preparation of the child’s awareness of the danger from their spontaneous actions. An example is the child who runs across an uncongested road without heeding his parent’s calls to stop. Every summer there are children who are killed by similar type accidents on our beaches that could have been prevented by parents training their children to obey their commands.

The training should start with commands but not end with them. Parents have to discuss the reason why certain behaviors are better for them than others. These rational explanations shape the thinking of the child, which affects behavior. When this childrearing approach is begun early the impact is more powerful and effective. The later it is started, the greater is the work needed to move the child from the wrong to the right path. The reason for this additional effort should be self-evident. First an adult has to erase the old bad habits to replace them with new ones. The removal of inappropriate actions replacing them with more beneficial ones is more difficult. The more often the impulsive behavior occurs the more it pays immediate short-term dividends of releasing energy although with long term negative consequences.

The adult leads the child through a series of disastrous possibilities that could have happened. This debriefing process can help a child visualize the consequences of certain actions. The child hopefully learns to realize the perils of impulsive acting and learns to think before doing.

By initially placing the child on the straight and narrow right path, the difficulty of retraining becomes less necessary. The old adage that it is easier to grow a tree straight than to correct a crooked one is also true in raising children. Raising a child like a tree takes a significant amount of work but when done early and right puts the child mostly on automatic pilot.

Spotting and addressing specific potential weaknesses in the early years of their development the child’s character, behavior and abilities can be set on the right track before they evolve into more intractable issues.  The parent’s micromanaging behavior decreases, as they do not have to be concerned with every little action of their child. They have laid the groundwork for the child’s development. This foundation gives the child an awareness of negative and dangerous behavior alerting the child to control his actions. This increases sensitivity of dealing with physical and mental temptations that prevent future mishaps.

Early training in basic skills, social, emotional and behavior development affords parents more time to love and enjoy their children as they mature into productive and well-adjusted adults. A pruned and well-nourished tree grows straight and healthy as does the child.




Domenick Maglio, PhD. is a columnist carried by various newspapers, an author of several books and owner/director of Wider Horizons School, a college prep program. Dr. Maglio is an author of weekly newspaper articles, INVASION WITHIN  and a new just published book, entitled, IN CHARGE PARENTING In a PC World. You can visit Dr. Maglio at www.drmaglio.blogspot.com.















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