Articles are available for reprint as long as the author is acknowledged: Domenick J. Maglio Ph.D.

Thursday, November 20, 2014

PARENTAL ABSENCE RESULTS IN DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILIES


PARENTAL ABSENCE RESULTS IN DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILIES
By Domenick J. Maglio  PhD. Traditional Realist


Parents usually want the best for their children. Today there are more choices than ever about raising a child. Almost everyone who has raised a child is a know-it-all expert. People who have even limited exposure write books believing they are going to revolutionize child rearing after centuries of child rearing tradition. 

President Obama in a November 3rd speech said, “we don’t want women to stay home.” He was advocating mothers be absent from the family. His reasoning was a stay-at-home mother would never have the earning power that a career woman would. This cradle to grave approach of government involvement in our lives is marginalizing the role of family in modern society and is weakening our entire nation. There are government infant and toddler programs that are urging women to enter or stay in the workforce.

Most children spend more time with the daycare workers than they will with their own parents. Both parents and children will lose their invaluable interaction that creates a love bond between them. Too many youngsters no longer radiate the natural love of adoring parents.

The separation between a child and parent makes effective parenting very difficult.
Many working parents are at a disadvantage of learning their child’s idiosyncratic behavior. These parents receive second hand reports from the caretaker rather than drawing their own conclusions from the child’s interaction with others.  Modern parents have to rely on others to gain a perception of their own child.

Instead of employing a common sense, problem solving of inappropriate behavior and inattentiveness, modern parents currently are directed to a professional. Often an alarmed teacher will suggest an expert evaluate the child’s behavior. A speech therapist, a mental health professional or a medical doctor are the experts recommended.

Modern parents have a reason to be confused, which motivates them to bring the child to the office of an expert. Parents’ unfamiliarity with their own children’s behavior and lack of an extended family giving advice leaves many parents at the mercy of these unknown professionals.

These professionals can give remedial recommendations to correct the problem, explaining it is “normal behavior.” Too often the professionals, instead of employing a long-term therapeutic approach, unethically offer a mental health diagnosis, which does not meet all the criteria. They provide a quick medical (drug) solution that only masks the underlying issues and diagnose the child with a mental disorder relegating him to a life long stigma.

In our nonjudgmental culture family friends would remain silent or approve of, not question the parent’s decisions. This formal “expert” process is usually a relief to the parent as it gives them clear scientific "certitude" that the problem lies with the child not with their parenting. In many cases the parent wears their child's diagnosis as a badge of courage for having endured the antics and hassles of dealing with a "defective" child.

These child development experts have permeated the thoughts and beliefs of almost all parents, including those at home full time. Modern parents have been indoctrinated not to use time-tested methods such as the “cold shoulder,” moderate spanking on toddlers and preschoolers and strong consistent consequences to regain control of their child’s actions. It is easier and less stressful to put faith in the hands of the state licensed professionals than to examine and change the interaction with their own offspring.


The child becomes the victim of the parent’s ignorance of the child's “game playing,” the power of their role and their unwillingness to be take-charge parents. The child's reaction to the consequences of the caregiver is teaching the caregiver, not the parents, the best way to manage the child. Absentee parents do not have the opportunity to learn these lessons. These missed experiences leave today's parents in an inferior power position as compared to parents of the past.

The lack of awareness and knowledge of their children's behavior makes it almost impossible to remediate the child's dysfunctional behavior. Instead the child receives, and will suffer from, the mental health label that will identify him for the rest of his life. This phenomenon is becoming more prevalent reaching epidemic proportions.

Not only does the label influence the thinking and behavior of others but it gives the child a built in set of excuses that fortifies his sense of believing he is defective. Negative self-talk about what a person can and should do, lowers his standards and expectations. This makes the dubious diagnosis a self-fulfilling prophecy.

The modern parent’s void in directly experiencing the child's behavior results in a lifestyle of disorder for the entire family. The ultimate victim of this family dysfunction is the labeled child, although everyone in the family suffers.

Our central government continues the dismantling of the family and is paving the way for a more totalitarian nation. This central control of our lives is disabling our children, families and nation.

Domenick Maglio, PhD. is a columnist carried by various newspapers, an author of several books and owner/director of Wider Horizons School, a college prep program. You can visit Dr. Maglio at www.drmaglio.blogspot.com.

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Thursday, November 13, 2014

THE REJECTION OF THE PENNY TAX PROVES WE ARE NOT STUPID


THE REJECTION OF THE PENNY TAX PROVES WE ARE NOT STUPID
 By Domenick J. Maglio Ph.D. Traditional Realist

MIT professor, Jonathan Gruber, architect of Obamacare, smugly pronounced American voters were stupid to believe in the distortions and outright lies that were repeatedly used to gain legislative approval of it. However, it is appearing that unrealistic and false promises are getting harder to sell to the public.

Throughout the nation local and state governments are finding unique ways of extracting money from the people. In Hernando County, a small central Florida county, another penny sales tax was vigorously promoted as “Penny for Projects”. They used previously discussed road projects, local airport upgrades, school repairs, electronic tablets for each student, and other assorted absurd “Projects for a Penny” to entice citizens to vote “yes.” The political and connected business leaders raised an incredible $160,000 to put together a glossy campaign to pass this referendum for their interest not the public’s.

The county administrator, a major player in this effort, stated the Penny for Projects proponents “played a pretty good game.” The “stupid citizens” were not fooled by “the game” even though they were inundated with signs, mailings and sophisticated commercials telling them to vote, “yes.” They answered with a shocking, resounding “no!”

This  “No” vote response happened without a counter promotion to expose passed additional tax campaigns where the raised revenues disappeared into thin air without any concrete results. 

The American people have learned that increasing public money to solve problems does not produce the desired results. Nationally we have thrown trillions of dollars at public schools. These large sums of money have created larger school districts with fancier buildings but did not do anything to improve student performance. More money allocated for education has produced more administrators and an impenetrable bureaucratic wall that mutes parent feedback and impedes school accountability.

Locally we see closed private businesses now filled with ever expanding government.  The number of government agencies and workers metastasized while the accessibility to public servants lessens. The local government has introduced a glut of regulations that impede our freedom to live our lives as we see fit.  Meanwhile our roads, building departments, parks and other public services have deteriorated. 

The voters are becoming aware that money is not the crucial issue in our local government.  What is crucial is holding public servants accountable for fulfilling their obligations to the public.  This process will require citizens to point out to government supervisors when a government employee has done an excellent or an atrocious job in assisting them. Citizens have to assert themselves by evaluating government workers to convince the higher-level officials that their own positions are on the line if they do not manage well. 

This grassroots feedback would translate into hardworking public servants moving up the ladder while poor functioning ones are demoted or fired.  The word will circulate that job security and advancement will be based on merit, not politics all the way up the ladder.

This message of merit will become a guiding principle of completing tasks in an efficient manner. This will motivate supervisors to fire incompetent or dysfunctional employees.  City and county commissioners will have to demonstrate to the public through their actions that they will not tolerate any dereliction of duties of any member of the local government regardless of their connections.

Citizens have turned a blind eye to our local, state and federal government officials. This passive approach of going along with approving more revenue to solve problems has been a formula for waste and inefficiency.

At this point in time, Americans are opening up both eyes to gain some control over an out-of-control government. Public servants are supposed to work for We the People. We have to do our jobs of rating them like we do for many products, services and hotels online in the private sector. We need an “Angie’s List” of government servants and politicians to inform others of their effectiveness or ineffectiveness. 

Many communities took the step and voted down increasing taxes. These taxing gimmicks will reappear more deceptively until the local ruling elite realize the government is not entitled to the people’s money.

When the people see cutbacks in local government workers and programs citizens will know these local elites finally get it. We need to be forever vigilant in our civic duty by holding ourselves, family and government servants accountable.  This positive energy will return our nation to better stability and harmony proving to the elites that citizens are not stupid.

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Wednesday, November 05, 2014

THE POOR JUDGEMENT OF A VICTIM SHOULD BE ACKNOWLEDGED


THE POOR JUDGEMENT OF A VICTIM SHOULD BE ACKNOWLEDGED
By Domenick J. Maglio Phd., Traditional Realist


There are times when a person is an innocent victim of an unforeseen incident. A car erratically driven and killing a pedestrian just walking on the sidewalk is a tragic incident that is in no way the fault of the victim. Neither is lightning striking a person out of the blue. An airplane killing someone as it lands on a beach or a tree limb crushing a person are unpredictable events that are understandably devastating to their loved ones. When life appears cruelly unfair, most of us turn to God for solace because the unfortunate victim was not responsible in any way for what happened.

There are other times when people put themselves in dangerous positions that blow up in their face and that could have been avoided. Placing oneself in risky situations has potential consequences that should have been taught at an early age. This knowledge gives young adults the ability to anticipate patterns of behavior that would be harmful to them.

People who ignore the possible consequences of dangerous behaviors are partially to blame for the suffering they receive. When people do not acknowledge their poor judgment they often repeat their actions. Learning from one’s mistakes protects the individual by not going down the same path. They are able to think on their feet to minimize potentially aversive dangers.

There is a cellphone application that has been introduced, which uses data analysis to inform people what are high criminal risk neighborhoods. Many in our culture did not favorably receive this important and relevant information for a person’s safety. Many experts in the media and the NAACP viewed this as a racist item that should be banned from the public domain. In other words people should be kept ignorant of statistical data even though it would keep them out of harm’s way because it disproportionately shows African-American areas are bad.

In our current culture the message to our youth is whatever a person does should have no bearing on his being taken advantage of by another. A male going to a bar noted for its violence should ignore the reality that he is taking his life in his own hands. A young woman who is intoxicated and is dressing provocatively is unaware she is putting herself in jeopardy of being exploited. Actions and decisions that put one in a tenuous situation do matter because it increases the possibility of getting hurt.

Risky behavior often has consequences that we should consider before taking certain actions. It is the responsibility of the parents to teach their children about the reality of certain behaviors. “Stay far away from firemen when they are fighting a fire, they would not expect you to be there and would inadvertently knock you down.” “Don’t accept a ride or candy from a stranger.” These warnings about possible outcomes encourage a child to think before compulsively acting.

As the youngster matures his responsibility to observe the behavior of others should increase. This increased awareness of people will determine the advisability of befriending or avoiding a certain person. Reality is a great teacher to guide one’s decisions.

A person who knows permissive sex increases STDs and that heightens the probability of certain cancers and commits to this lifestyle is taking a gamble. The same naiveté goes for a person who divorces her spouse for a minor issue even though she knows that raising a child alone would result in lower socio-economic conditions with a higher probability of problem children. A person who commits a crime while under a mind-altering substance should be held accountable for his actions. It was his choice to put himself in a mindless state.

When individuals put themselves in potentially dangerous situations they are partially responsible for the horrendous outcome of the chain of events. People should be accountable for putting themselves in risky circumstances, as it was their decision.

As a society we can no longer hide behind the infantile politically correct thinking that we can never discuss the poor judgment of the victim. This missed opportunity to learn from a discussion of other’s poor judgment does everything to increase mindless behavior and nothing to prevent dangerous impulsive actions.

Good judgment begins with good parenting. Parents should point out to their child the potentially harmful consequences of risky behavior. This early training lays the foundation for the person’s ability to make mature decisions.

Our media should report all the relevant facts of these tragedies even though it might show the victim’s dubious decision making. This knowledge would be powerfully helpful to many other young people that would prevent unnecessary tragedies.

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Thursday, October 30, 2014

SCHOOLS ARE WEAKENING OUR KIDS


SCHOOLS ARE WEAKENING OUR KIDS
By Domenick J. Maglio Ph.D., Traditional Realist

Modern children are supposed to be shielded from not only physical pain but also psychological pain. Stress and anxiety are not supposed to enter the lives of our children. Modern children are not being allowed or challenged to become strong. We are raising a future generation of weak adults.

There was banning of physical games during recess. Dodge ball, was targeted as a harmful game as it might sting a child hit by a ball. It supposedly makes a child feel inferior because he does not possess the skills of throwing or catching a ball. This type of thinking has gone so far as banning the game of tag due to some child becoming upset when he gets tagged.

There is no score kept in many games as it results in some children being losers. Everyone has to be rotated sharing a certain time limit while playing all positions. This is done regardless of talent, motivation or skill of the students.  Our schools have been obliged to create equal mediocrity, not strive for excellence. They should not go through the experience of playing because it might hurt them physically or emotionally. Children need to toughen up by getting up after scraping a knee. Protection overrides the benefits of increasing fine and gross motor skills, developing stamina and perseverance through physical activities.

Even limited homework is under attack. A recent study from Stanford University stated that homework could not go beyond two hours for high school students and 30 minutes for elementary students. They stated it would have harmful effects such as anxiety, lack of sleep and depression.   The recommendation by this organization has disregarded the students who are more than willing to sacrifice their time and effort to excel in school.

Not to lower the self-esteem of students many school districts have resorted to giving 40 points to every student so no one would receive a zero.  Grades earned could no longer be posted so a child would not feel badly that someone received a better grade.  Teachers no longer are allowed to give red marks on children’s papers because it would devastate the child to be criticized even though he was wrong. Many school districts have stopped correcting homework and tests because the process was too stressful for parents and students.

Zero bully policies are often based on the premise that there is not a difference between people in a squabble. They do not want to call anyone a victim because if they defend themselves, the other person would have to be called the perpetrator. This would be offensive to the bullying child. Each child has to be treated equally so as not to make a value judgment of right and wrong behavior. A value judgment about the child’s inappropriate and intimidating behavior might affect the child’s self-esteem. Besides it is too time consuming to make a thorough investigation to determine the facts.
Students in school, as in other arenas in life, should compete with their peers.  It is a natural part of life. They should not be pampered as fragile beings who are too delicate to handle any type of pressure. This lack of faith by administrators, teachers and parents in the resiliency of youngsters is a major element of this wimpification.

The hypersensitivity of school administrators and parents to a child’s natural everyday stress is misguided. These “stressful” incidents which are supposed to be avoided can range from taking notes, studying, playing physical games, testing, defending oneself from verbal put downs from peers and honest evaluations from teachers and others. These avoidance strategies are detrimental to the child’s development of competitive abilities in the real world.

Students should be encouraged to deal with all reality.  Failure is a great motivator that encourages a person to improve. A certain amount of stress is vital for optimal function. The child should not be put in a bubble to appease over protective parents because it would make running a school less difficult. The student should have the opportunity to gain strength in social and emotional areas to become a well-rounded, courageous and healthy individual.

Totally isolating a person from any stress would be impossible for every activity has a certain amount of it. We can reduce stress at a cost. Usually the more a person is able to control and overcome it, the better he will be able to perform in difficult assignments that exist in everyday life. Learning to handle stress is essential in most endeavors that pay positive dividends. Children have always had to conquer anxiety in confronting reality to be successful. They did it in the past and they can do it now.
















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Monday, October 20, 2014

A FEMINIST BY-PRODUCT: HE IS ALWAYS GUILTY


A FEMINIST BY-PRODUCT: HE IS ALWAYS GUILTY
By Domenick J. Maglio Ph.D., Traditional Realist


“Girl power” has blossomed into full blown “woman power.” Even though the media and the Democrat Party have promoted the “war against women” the actual facts paint a very different picture. Men have lost considerable power in this society while females have made great strides. The real war has been against men, not women.

Females have gained an enormous amount of political power. Single voting age females are a powerful voting bloc that many pollsters believe had a decided impact on the past several presidential elections.

Females comprise 60% of undergraduate and graduate students in college, while males are on a steady decline in undergraduate and graduate programs. The traditionally male dominated STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering and Math) initiative is focusing on recruiting females instead of plugging the dike of males leaving the college ranks.

Females have been liberated from the home and motherhood. They have become independent socially and financially whether unattached or married. Although mothers do a higher percentage of domestic chores, fathers are doing more of them than ever before. Female salaries have increased to almost be on par with male’s salaries when you factor in similar positions and seniority.

Women’s rights have become so ingrained into our culture that even an allegation of sexual misconduct by a female will have significant consequences for a male. University of Florida quarterback, Treon Harris, not only was removed from the team but also was not allowed on the campus to receive his education. This was all done on the whim of a female without any hard evidence or investigation. She later withdrew her complaint and he was allowed to return.

Now males are being held accountable for any incidents of sexual interaction. On college campuses men have to receive female consent every step of the way.  California lawmakers are considering a policy of “Yes Means Yes” to protect female students. This “affirmative consent standard” is being tied to a university receiving federal funds. However lawmakers are insisting that consent can be nonverbal. This means a nod can be “yes.” “He nodded, she did not” gets back to “he said, she said.” This does not solve the problem of consent, it is only government overreaching by attempting to micromanage sexual affairs on college campuses.

President Obama has called sexual assault an affront to humanity. This is nothing more than pandering to single female voters. This has taken on the form of the “It’s On Us” campaign. He is asking men to become involved when someone subjectively thinks it might turn into an abusive situation. Of course anyone should attempt to stop an actual sexual assault, however, interfering in a social relationship of any couple is a dangerous practice as many law enforcement personnel have learned. The usual female “victim” often turns on the officer who is trying to protect her. President Obama is asking civilians to try to do this impossible task.

In our current PC world men are guilty until they can prove themselves innocent in physical and sexual incidents with females. In domestic violence situations when the police arrive they overwhelmingly respond by taking the male to jail. Even though studies show 40-45% of the woman striking the man initiates the cases of domestic violence.  The man is usually physically more powerful and regardless of the facts in the situation they are held to the old traditional standard that they should never hit the opposite sex.

In our PC legal system men are being denied equal protection under the law. Women are given preferential treatment. The decision to have or abort a child is solely the choice of the woman. The man has no legal right to keep the child when the woman does not want it. In reverse even when he does desire to keep the child he is held responsible for supporting until age 18.  Furthermore, men usually receive the short end of the stick in alimony decisions.

When you focus on political power men have lost the war. Men are seen as losers who are constantly ridiculed by the media as overly sensitive wimps or physically and mentally brutes. Men have been propagandized by our PC culture to hide their natural responses to strongly verbally counter when put down by a female in mixed company. Instead men have become conditioned to acquiesce to be seen as sensitive to the woman’s feelings. In essence they have become lap dogs- emasculated.

Women’s study indoctrination programs in universities are dividing females from males. The instructors of these programs throughout the country have become paid advocates of “women’s rights,” which has drastically skewed the political landscape. These educators have demonized males while elevating females to sainthood.

These radical feminists are poisoning the harmony between males and females and are weakening our social fabric. Enough is enough. Truth has to come before a narrow focused political interest group’s agenda. The present feminist agenda is unjust and mean spirited for half of the essential part of our population. The pendulum should swing back towards the middle where both females and males are treated with the utmost respect socially and legally to create a more united society.

Domenick Maglio, PhD. is a columnist carried by various newspapers, an author of several books and owner/director of Wider Horizons School, a college prep program. You can visit Dr. Maglio at www.drmaglio.blogspot.com.








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Thursday, October 09, 2014

VOTING IS A PRIVILEGE AND RESPONSIBILITY TO PRESERVE FREEDOM


VOTING IS A PRIVILEGE AND RESPONSIBILITY TO PRESERVE FREEDOM
By Domenick J. Maglio, PhD. Traditional Realist

Many Americans are ignorant concerning voting. Few countries have honest elections. Voting is a responsibility and a privilege not a right. In many nations people have to be coerced into casting a vote for the leader of the nation.  They understand their vote is meaningless.  When the ruling class selects all the candidates on the ballot there is no real choice.

Participation of ninety percent of the vote for a candidate may impress the uninformed although it would most likely be a process of rubber stamping a pre confirmed person. People reluctantly cast their vote out of fear of government reprisal. It is not the voice of the people but a charade perpetrated by an all- powerful government that has no inclination to give up power to the citizens.

In the U.S. media there is a constant drum beat that we have a low voter turnout in elections. Many commentators interpret this as the disenfranchisement of minority voters. These intellectuals view a low turnout as delegitimizing the electoral process. At times it seems they would like a voter process similar to one used by American Idol: vote as many times as possible for your favorite candidate in order to show we have a “true democratic system.”

In Los Angeles, California, city officials proposed a $100,000 lottery prize to be used as an incentive to increase voter turnout. It never dawned on these officials that the difference between candidates was miniscule thus lowering voter turnout. Los Angeles is a progressive bastion where the vote is only based on looks and personality, not on policies.

When people are provided real choices voters will respond. In the recent referendum in Scotland on breaking away from or remaining a part of Britain there was an 84% turnout. The same significant voter turnout took place under threats and explosions in Iraq when the people proudly showed their purple thumbs for the democratic voting in the country. In the 2012 U.S. presidential election a higher percentage of blacks voted than whites dispelling the fear of disenfranchising minority voters. There is no need for prizes or missions in promoting elections when there are meaningful choices for voters.

Our nation has been blessed by having noble and intelligent founders. They created a governmental system that entrusted the people to determine the direction of the country through free, legitimate elections. Under the constitution our founders enabled the citizens to have the responsibility to study candidate’s character, thinking and previous actions before selecting a representative. These men and local leaders realized that voters had to have “skin in the game” in terms of owning property, being literate, law abiding citizens, be of good character and be known by the community.

Often these voters had to travel difficult distances to vote. Most of these original citizens of the United States understood their voice was important in maintaining  freedom. This was ingrained in them after fighting a brutal revolution against a repressive empire. They understood their vote was a privilege that was earned by the valor of citizen soldiers. They had a strong investment in the process by being informed to select representatives to this republic.

This is not the case with the tsunami of illegal immigrants who continue to dilute legitimate citizen’s votes. Our elections are becoming easier to manipulate by the ruling class. The billions of state and national dollars poured into the election and the monolithic media controlled by a few rich individuals allow the elites to influence the outcome negating the voice of the people.

This duty to vote by citizens has changed drastically. Many elites argue that everyone should have an equal right to vote at their convenience. Voters should be given mail-in ballots and given as many days as possible to vote not to be reduced to the traditional one day to cast their ballot. Besides increasing the possibility of fraud, it leaves many voters without all the events and information that would have been available if they had voted on Election Day.

It also means anyone should be able to vote. This translates into even hardened criminals, illiterates, non-citizens and people of poor character should count equally with honorable, educated voters. Many people do not feel a person should have to show any identification when  voting to curtail fraud even though they are often required to show identification when they are using a credit card or merely checking into a hotel.

Our freedom as a nation is being jeopardized by an out of control voting process. The diluting of our standards and regulations for proper voting safeguards is a cancer eroding our responsible citizen’s ability to have their voices heard. Every uninformed and fraudulent vote cancels out a well-informed one.

Citizens who believe in our constitution have a sacred duty to vote. Being aware and informed protects our nation from exploitive power-seeking government officials.
Our heroes of the past will be smiling down on us for our sacrifices. Their legacy of free elections is worth our civic effort in order to pass on stability and freedom to our next generation.


Domenick Maglio, PhD. is a columnist carried by various newspapers, an author of several books and owner/director of Wider Horizons School, a college prep program. You can visit Dr. Maglio at www.drmaglio.blogspot.com.





Thursday, October 02, 2014

HIGH STANDARDS AND EXPECTATIONS HAVE TO BE REALISTIC




HIGH STANDARDS AND EXPECTATIONS HAVE TO BE REALISTIC
By Domenick J. Maglio Ph.D.  Traditional Realist

The setting of high standards and expectations is a traditional means of encouraging an individual to increase his performance. When a person reaches a certain level the authority figure would nudge the level higher to incrementally increase the proficiency in a skill or task. This has been successful in motivating people to obtain their optimal level of performance and has kept the person focused on continuing to improve.

This approach works as long as the adult does not overwhelm the youngster with too much, too soon. When the approach is done gradually and realistically the person has the ability to reach the objective, building the competence one step at a time.

Students are all unique. There are socio economic and physiological differences that contribute to early or late bloomers and relationship incidents that affect test results. Some have time management issues working too fast or too slow. Others have problems with organization, socialization or behavior. Overlying these behavioral and skill issues are different innate abilities and interest in academic areas that influence student performance.

The reality is that children develop academically, socially and emotionally at different rates and times. This is being ignored on comprehensive testing even in kindergarten. These tests take away from children’s learning time.

It is ridiculous to mandate high standards and expectations for every student of a particular chronological age where it is not the only criteria that should be considered. The educational establishment’s Common Core Standards have arbitrarily set standards for each level that might impress the uninformed although it is setting up a substantial number of students to become frustrated and develop a defeatist attitude.

The establishment of unrealistic standards and expectations for an individual is detrimental to the self-concept of individuals. No matter how hard they try, they are unable to reach this impossible goal. They begin to view themselves as losers. This experience only reinforces the person’s urge to protect himself by shutting down and not trying.

The person’s resentment to their perceived failure can be turned inward towards himself or outward towards other authority figures. Since the parent or boss seems never to be satisfied, he learns to play games like looking busy rather than focusing on completing the task at hand.  Often others become perfectionists, which results in procrastinating out of fear of failure rather than tackle the deficiency and overcome it.

When extremely pressured by parents, teachers or an employer, a youngster can give up all together or have outbursts of hostility towards the authority figure. Eventually the person stops even pretending to want to reach the unrealistic expectations set for him not with or by him.

Any person’s present skill level has to be determined in the process of setting goals. The more readily attainable the goals the more likely the person will be motivated to reach them.  The more the person consistently reaches his mini objectives the more he develops a “can do” rather than a “can’t do” attitude.

Through this process the individual begins to internalize the steps necessary to attain his goals. His frustration tolerance increases. He realizes that when he follows a certain sequence of behaviors he will gain the results he wants. This becomes a habit in setting all sorts of minor goals in daily life. When these check lists are completed they bolster the person’s self-competence. This allows them to stretch and expand their standards and expectations for their own future success.

These individuals understand they have to mark a path with milestones that end where they want to be. These mini objectives guide and encourage them to finish the particular task. The person himself knows if he gets to a certain point, the next juncture will require a little more focus and energy but he knows it is do-able. There is no reason to give up. He has accepted the fact that he can be independently successful.


Domenick Maglio, PhD. is a columnist carried by various newspapers, an author of several books and owner/director of Wider Horizons School, a college prep program. You can visit Dr. Maglio at www.drmaglio.blogspot.com.




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