THE CONVERSATION ALL PARENTS SHOULD HAVE

 THE CONVERSATION ALL PARENTS SHOULD HAVE

By Domenick J. Maglio PhD. Traditional Realist

 

Reality is often harsh. There are many conversations parents should have with their youngsters to prepare them for safely facing the dangers in life. Parent warn their children about the peril of talking to strangers. They often attempt to instill the awareness that they have gained over time to try to prevent their child from being harmed.

 

The high point of a teenager entering adulthood is the earning of a driver’s license. This passage into adulthood requires much coaching and direction by the parent such as how to respond when your vehicle slides sideways in the rain, the best distance to follow behind another car, when to put on your turn signal before you switch lanes and a host of other essential instructions.

 

There is another necessary discussion that every teenager needs to have with their parents: how to react if and when a police officer stops you in your car. The first thing any Asian, White, Black, Native American, Hispanic, or Middle Eastern parent should stress with their teen, who may have recently received a driver’s license, is to remain respectful if pulled over by an officer. They should be emotionally controlled, not snarky, loud or physically “puffed up” and they should respectful. The parent needs to explain that being a policeman is one of the most emotionally demanding and dangerous positions in the community.

 

After the flashing lights are noticed by the driver, they should immediately slow down and pull their vehicle into a safe place. In this critical encounter anything can take place. In the best-case scenario, the driver is reasonable in following orders to show his license and registration, while acting pleasant to the badge and uniform. On the other hand, the driver can become hostile and belligerent to the police officer’s commands. Obviously, the polite, reasonable and respectful person alleviates much of the cop’s apprehension and fear. When the individual being stopped is calm and reasonable, the policeman can be as well.

 

Infrequently the opposite can happen when a person is under the influence of drugs, alcohol, mental illness or is a hardened criminal. This can end in a very tragic way when the person does not adhere to the police officer’s commands. The encounter with an officer unfortunately can quickly escalate to the next level when the expected response is not received. The next step that the police have trained for is confronting the person with a taser or with physical force to get control over the situation. At best this means a headache of paperwork or at worst the use of a firearm.

 

An officer who stops a civilian provokes anxiety for all involved. It is imperative to be deferential when encountering a police officer doing his official duties. This will go a long way in creating a smooth, efficient and effective process. If a person is belligerent, annoyed, arrogant or combative the episode can escalate into an explosive one. Tell your child that the police officers are generally not your enemy, not prejudiced or out to get you but you need to speak to them respectfully and you should receive respect back.

 

Law enforcers believe they need to immediately establish respect since it is necessary for them to be in control, to keep everything calm. The most difficult part for the officer is to assess what actually happened in the particular incident, whether to release the person or to charge them. Without reasonable and thoughtful responses from those involved, it is impossible to evaluate how to proceed. A police officer frequently has to be assertive to get to the bottom of an issue, so do not become offended.  It is their responsibility to enforce the laws of the land. They have policies to follow and metrics to fill.  The officer might not agree with all the laws and rules, but it is his duty to enforce them.

 

All teenagers and others should understand that regardless of gender, ethnic or racial background all law enforcement officers should be treated with courtesy. The police officer is not the judge or jury. This position is too ominous and perilous for them to be too accommodating. It is a profession where serious and fatal consequences can take place in an instant. Citizens should appreciate the difficult and dangerous possibilities that exist in the average day of a police officer.

 

Regardless of political leanings, ethnic background, race or socio-economic level, all parents should tell their children that all police officers are not out to get them. They will cause themselves less difficulty in dealing with the police if they are cooperative. The best policy is being unemotional, compliant, and honest.

 

Domenick Maglio, PhD. is a columnist carried by various newspapers, an author of several books and owner/director of Wider Horizons School, a college prep program. Dr. Maglio is an author of weekly newspaper articles, INVASION WITHIN  and a recent book entitled, IN CHARGE PARENTING In a PC World. You can see many of Dr. Maglio’s articles at www.drmaglioblogspot.com.