“WASTING TIME STUDYING” IS NOT STUDYING

“WASTING TIME STUDYING” IS NOT STUDYING

By Domenick J. Maglio PhD. Traditional Realist

If you want something done, give it to a busy person not someone who does little. This observation is as true today as it was in the past. People who complete their tasks in a timely manner are well disciplined and have learned time management. Daydreaming is not allowed or even thought of in their daily routines. They have internalized an awareness of time that motivates them to complete the task efficiently.

These doers were often trained by their parents in completing chores around the house or shown by another role model or are self-trained. The training process by parents optimally should start as early as possible. Putting their possessions in the proper place is an excellent place to begin. As the child matures, the work expectation should increase to complete activities promptly. Any praise or material reward should happen only after the chore is completed correctly in a particularly stated time period.

Shoddy work or poor effort needs to be noted and corrected. Lying about what they actually did for schoolwork has to be followed by a significant consequence and then a discussion. The next parental directive should review the things they did not do well the first time and firmly tell the child the way they can correct this. Noting the improvements followed by parental approval of a job well done motivates the youngsters to incorporate these positive lessons into their lives.

Obviously this takes time and effort by the parents in a harried world. Working as a family around the house is less likely with both parents working. Many families have hired people taking over the outdoor chores. Any chores assigned to the child, like caring for a pet or cleaning their own room, should be carefully monitored to be sure the chore is done well.

In modern children’s lives the major work responsibility is in school, no longer at home. At first parents are eager to help with homework that comes home in the early grades to help their children start off on the right foot. At times they help too much, doing the entire assignment. This does little to prepare their child for future homework.

The problem with homework is not the level of ability of the student to do it but the desire and will. In our “instant gratification” society too many youngsters expect things to come easily. Some of the academic material, especially science, math, literature and history, require more concentration and effort to grasp terminology and concepts than in less demanding courses.

Another major problem is most parents do not realize the child’s ability to lie by omission when a parent asks, “did you finish all your homework” and the child answers, “yes.”  The child’s “yes” often means the part they like to do is completed but not all of it. The more difficult the task, the more likely it will be put aside for another day.

The teachers might list the times and dates the homework was not handed in to them. The student often argues that the teacher’s record book is wrong and she missed marking the assignment. The parent’s response is often to insist that their child is in their room studying for four hours each night.

The older the student gets, the more sophisticated the deviance becomes. Instead of direct falsehoods, the older student realizes it is best to turn to their acting skills. “I spend hours in my room doing homework and I still do not get it done.” Is the child actually, efficiently studying or just “wasting time studying?”

Time spent in one’s room is not indicative of the effort or work completed and comprehended. Children have been sent to the “time-out” area of their room for decades. They go to their “safe place” to play video games, use their phones, receive messages or listen to music. Some even take a nap. This is hardly studying. Daydreaming or counting the bumps on the ceiling does not qualify as studying either. Parents need to sporadically check the student’s work to see what has been completed.

Time management is the answer to gain additional time to master one’s studies. Studying takes focus, concentration, repetition and comprehension of specific concepts. It takes hard work, not faking it to an authority figure.

Parents have to stop being tortured by their child with their homework. The sooner parents understand and correct the youngster’s games, the better.

Domenick Maglio, PhD. is a columnist carried by various newspapers, an author of several books and owner/director of Wider Horizons School, a college prep program. Dr. Maglio is an author of weekly newspaper articles, INVASION WITHIN  and a new book entitled, IN CHARGE PARENTING In a PC World. You can see many of Dr. Maglio’s articles at www.drmaglioblogspot.com.