BEWARE OF THE SEXUAL ADDICTION EPIDEMIC

BEWARE OF THE SEXUAL ADDICTION EPIDEMIC

By Domenick J. Maglio Ph.D. traditional Realist

Our culture has become a highly sexualized one, which is the understatement of the ages. Sex is used to sell everything and anything. The word “sexy” has been applied to almost everything. Cars, clothes, phones. food, toothbrushes are labeled “sexy” to promote them. Modern children are exposed to visual images from birth that in the past were only seen in peep shows or Penthouse Magazine.

The so-called “sexual revolution” was propelled by the fraudulent 1960s Kinsey Report. This controversial report radically changed sexual behavior by falsely setting the level of sexual activity higher for adolescents than it actually was. It motivated youngsters to fit in by becoming more sexually active at an earlier and earlier age. It removed sex from the bedroom to front and center in the public domain. Television, movies, computer screens, DVDs, magazines inundate our children and us with provocative to explicit images, which are powerfully stimulating.

Today children are indoctrinated into a sexual reality before they develop the emotional maturity to put it into its proper prospective. Many people are introduced to all consuming sex through music, drugs and the social media. The majority of these experiences are physiologically and psychologically highly pleasurable, which seduces some into a sexually dominated lifestyle.

These dysfunctional behaviors have reached epidemic proportions. There is a speculative range of 3-6% of the population or 9-18 million people who suffer from sexual addiction. The increasing incidence of sexual addiction should be a concern of every adult, especially parents.

There are numerous evolving venues to entice people into becoming obsessed with sex. There is pornography, cyber sex, infidelity, compulsive masturbation, online hook ups, exhibitionism, prostitution, strip clubs and voyeurism. These behaviors are not only more prevalent but have lost their stigma in society.

The availability and options have greatly expanded with the decreased societal condemnation of these behaviors. This has led to the surge in sexual addiction. Traditionally males have comprised 90% of this group although female sexual addiction is becoming more prevalent with sexy feminists such as Beonce and Miley Cyrus changing attitudes and mores.

Psychologically early initiation into the world of sex increases the peer status of a youngster. Peer recognition with instant gratification makes the person chic and in the know. This contrived image directs the person to employ higher levels of deception. These braggadocio stories have to be elevated by more outrageous fantasy exploits. The addicted person’s relationships, lies and distortions hurt family, friends and others. Honor and loyalty have to be sacrificed for the next conquest to maintain the reputation.

Eventually the exaggeration and deception leaves the “player” psychologically and physiologically exhausted. The situation becomes a tangled web of emotions that causes confusion and at times even some guilt. As their attractiveness and stamina falters they often turn to alcohol and drugs to perform.

A preoccupation with sexual activities has consequences. It often starts someone down a path of becoming imbalanced and winding up in a self-destructive life style. These people lose control over their sexual behavior. Lines are crossed that they never thought they would cross. They employ any means available to maintain the player image. It often affects families and work environment.  Others start to sense the desperation to keep everything together. Relationships and production deteriorate. A hole is dug that gets deeper without hope of finding a solution of reversing it.

The addiction requires a greater frequency, duration and intensity of sex to receive the same “numbing out” release or pleasurably high experience. The ego gratification for performing the act becomes less attainable. The risk of contacting STDs or being caught in an embarrassing or unlawful situation increases. The inability to control ones thoughts and urges is frustrating. Drinking and drugging increase and mask the psychological pain and shame.

The Hollywood and media’s incredibly positive narratives like “Sex in the City”, “Mad Men” and James Bond are destructively unrealistic. These creative writers portray a fantasy lifestyle that they would like to live out in their own mundane lives. They do not understand the negative implications of living a delusional life of self-deception.

Adults, especially those with children, have to become more aware of the horrible consequences of a life of sexual addiction. This should be shared with their children as often as possible so as to prevent developing a very destructive habit of conning others.

Loved ones of an already sexually addicted person should confront him about how he has lost control over his life. These loved ones need to point out the path of destruction he has left behind. This intervention could wake him up to seek help through guidance from a respected elder, in prayer, church intervention or seek professional help.

Domenick Maglio, PhD. is a columnist carried by various newspapers, an author of several books and owner/director of Wider Horizons School, a college prep program. You can visit Dr. Maglio at www.drmaglio.blogspot.com.