Articles are available for reprint as long as the author is acknowledged: Domenick J. Maglio Ph.D.

Wednesday, January 28, 2015


By Domenick J. Maglio, PhD. Traditional Realist

Modern parents are raising their children without the best arrow in the quiver. They have been coerced through the media, government schools, agencies and evolving case law that parents no longer have the right to use corporal punishment with their own children. Parents are unable to quickly establish their power and authority.

This one change in parental rights has had devastating impact on the development of our children. Children are not learning to listen and obey.

Parents giving a lecture to a toddler, before they get the child’s undivided attention, is futile. Parents saying a firm “no” and appropriately spanking the child on the behind when their command is ignored is an attention getter.  All the words in the world have little to no impact on a toddler who has not been trained to listen.

Modern children are immune to parent lectures. The words enter the ears but cannot penetrate the brain’s thinking process. The child appears to listen for an acceptable interval to the parent. Then the child goes back to his business of doing what he wants.

 When the disobedience is too blatant, the child might suffer the traumatic “time out.” The modern child learns the “time-out shuffle” going in and out of the chair, but does not learn boundaries. The child is usually dismissed from time-out or leaves of his own accord with little or no notice by the parent. The child realizes he can do anything and everything that pops into his head without concern for physical or legal risks.

“Time out,” like anything used carelessly or too much loses its effectiveness as a consequence. Some experts are even saying that time out is psychologically harmful and even abusive.

Modern children who are being deprived of time tested moderate spanking become victims of permissive materialistic parents. Giving children permission to do whatever they want and material objects to bribe them to do what the parent wants has become a complete failure in our affluent world.

Parents need to return to their natural instincts to firmly demand that their offspring do what the parents want. Parents are more experienced and wiser. They need to take control of their children’s lives to prepare them to take flight on their own by age 18.

When parameters are firmly established at an early age, the parent’s authority becomes more meaningful for the child.  The youngster realizes that certain  unacceptable behaviors will bring on the wrath of the parent. This response should be taught early through a “no” that is followed by a stinging spank when not listening and a direct discussion as to why the behavior was wrong.

We are witnessing too many children doing bizarre and hideous acts. These children have difficulty controlling their impulses. They have not been taught by their loved ones that they cannot always get what they want when they want it.
A child needs to ask for permission to do anything that he has not been previously been approved by their parents. This simple rule cuts down on outrageous behavior.

Children without parameters are a danger to themselves and others. The basic rules of conduct have to be established by the parent or society steps in. These children end up in mental health facilities or incarcerated. It is preventable when limits are established in the child’s life.

This virtual ban on spanking for most parents has weakened the power status in the eyes of their children. The child continually pushes the envelope until parents give into the demands of the child. The child supposedly wins this and following battles but eventually falls victim to his own overinflated sense that he is more powerful than he really is. He becomes delusional.

The parents allow him to believe he is more powerful than they are. This sets the child up. He assumes he has the right and ability to do and demand things from acquaintances and strangers.

His response is to become more aggressive and hostile in order to attempt to create a tough image. This strategy can result in unnecessary anti social behavior that leads to more anger. On the other hand, he might go into a shell, avoiding the normal challenges of growing up. 

When parents do not train their child to be respectful to authority figures they are jeopardizing the child’s future. This vacuum predictably will lead to trouble for youngsters. This person raised with permissive parents will be less prepared to deal with the reality of power figures.

Today’s parents may not understand that they will be unable to overturn the socially approved decisions of law enforcement, mental health and the judicial system.  The ultimate victim is not the parent, who will vouch that the child has never done “anything wrong,” but their child.

Domenick Maglio, PhD. is a columnist carried by various newspapers, an author of several books and owner/director of Wider Horizons School, a college prep program. You can visit Dr. Maglio at

Labels: , ,


Post a Comment

<< Home