I JUST DON'T FEEL LIKE DOING IT

I JUST DON’T FEEL LIKE DOING IT

By Domenick J. Maglio PhD. Traditional Realist

Most of our youth are being raised in a protective bubble of cultural delusion. They do not think about their future since they know what it will be. Their future will be determined by what they want. As long as they believe hard enough, it will happen. In their minds it will definitely happen because their world is magical. They have instantly gotten what they want everyday since they were born.

Our affluence as a society has resulted in our children being able to obtain anything they want, which has created an entitlement mentality. These youngsters have moved further away from the natural laws of reality towards “fantasy thinking.”  This is due to the lazy, permissive, bribing way we are raising children.

In our modern culture fantasy thinking is becoming acceptable thinking. Youngsters playing video games as early as two to three years old foster our fantasy culture. They quickly learn they can wipe out a monster, choose a life of riches and become anyone they want to be. They can change their looks and even their gender. They do not have to earn anything; they just need to choose whatever they want.

Parents’ role model a similar fantasy existence by purchasing and doing thing they cannot afford via the credit card. Many parents are not following rational rules of reality by buying what they cannot afford. They impulsively purchase thus accumulating debt, which is ignored while the parents go on their merry way.

How could a child learn the importance of delayed gratification when he is seeing his parents disregarding reality? Most adults are increasing their debt and interest payments because they do not want to wait and save to get what they want. It appears to work for the parents persuading their children that this is the way reality works.

These parents are living an instant gratification existence. It is no wonder the children are not learning the concept that you have to work to gain what you want. Few adults are directly and personally teaching their children the work ethic. When the children say directly to their parents, “ I just don’t feel like doing it.” This expression is used even when asking a child to do such things as taking out the garbage, raking the leaves or washing the dishes.” Instead of getting into a confrontation, the parents just do it themselves. It is easier.

Whatever weak consequence they give for this outrageous comment is ignored. Any follow-through of a consequence is forgotten. The child believes he has won the battle and knows he can win any battle by acting as if the parent’s lecture never happened. Even an outright refusal is not seen as a disrespectful act. Although the parent loses the battle the ultimate loser is the child who becomes more dependent on the parent to service him.

In school the parents are more concerned about the child’s education than the child is. These parents attempt to micromanage the child’s daily behavior in school. They wind up doing a majority of the child’s homework and immediately intervene in any difficulty that he is facing even with the child’s peers.

The modern parent does not think the majority of the child’s problems in school are due to the lack of reality training.  “I just don’t feel like doing it,” is an arrogant and defiant statement.  Many things in life we do not because we want to do them. Instead we do them because they have to be done or we suffer the consequences that we like even less. Mowing the grass, doing laundry, cooking meals are just a few of the things adults do not want to do but complete them to create time for other things they do want to do.

These disregarded parents do not turn the tables on the child. This would teach the child an important lesson that if no one took care of the mundane chores everyone would suffer. Without parents training their children to do things they do not choose to do they are destined to be weak and dependent people.

“ I don’t feel like doing it,” should bring any parent into high alert. This should sound the alarm that the parent is way off course in raising their child. Parents should “man all battle stations” and command the child to rapidly learn, like it or not, that he will contribute to the family regardless of his selfishness.

This stance will put the child on notice that he has to change his attitude. Once he starts doing the necessary things to contribute, his competency level will rise enabling the child to become more independent towards becoming an adult.

“I will get the job done,” is a positive attitude that sets the child up for success. This self-talk will increase the parents’ chance of a positive experience with their child’s development. Parents will have to begin to lead them into success rather than be passive enablers of slackers.

Domenick Maglio, PhD. is a columnist carried by various newspapers, an author of several books and owner/director of Wider Horizons School, a college prep program. You can visit Dr. Maglio at www.drmaglio.blogspot.com.