PARENTAL SACRED DUTY

PARENTAL SACRED DUTY

By Domenick J. Maglio PhD. Traditional Realist

Parents are very concerned about the schools their children attend. They want the best education their money can buy. The rich and famous put their child in the finest, most exclusive schools. Parents often drive their child across town to place them in the best public school available. Almost all parents want a quality education for their children. 

These parents understand that their children have to learn an incredible amount of academic material, thinking skills as well as appropriate behaviors to be successful in life. The major issue that many parents often forget is that they are the most influential teacher the child will ever have. It is a responsibility they should not take lightly. 

Training one’s child should start in infancy or as soon as possible. Waiting until the infant enters preschool often leaves the child behind others who have the advantage of parents being more proactive during this period. Parents are not even requiring their toddlers to speak the appropriate word before receiving an object they want. 

With the convenience of disposable diapers parents are being lulled into merely changing a diaper instead of completing the potty training regime. This is the reason many parents are satisfied with their child not being potty trained before the age of 3, 4 or even 5 years-of age instead of the time honored 18 months to 2 years-old time periods that was the norm for generations. This lack of beginning the potty training process on the proper time has caused many of them to be diagnosed with a mental health label that would have been avoided with proper and appropriate parenting.

The same bypassing of sensitive periods for children’s training is causing unnecessary problems.  Children need a consistent schedule to thrive. The expectation for the child to eat various foods is not being demanded. The structure for the child to go to bed and wake up at a particular time is not being followed. This structure is necessary for a healthy environment in a child’s daily development. 

Compounding this is modern parents inability to set up a consistent schedule for their child due to their harried life. Their work is often demanding of their time and energy. By the time they get home there is little flexibility to do spontaneous things with the child. Many special trips are left for the weekend or days off. These are quality times such as visits to the park, special social play-dates with friends, and visits to friends and relatives. There is little opportunity for one-on-one training time. 

Quantity time is a radically different occasion. The parent is spending time with the child with no particular object in mind. The child is in a comfortable, safe environment. There is no script and the parent has the opportunity to intervene spontaneously. “You should be more gentle with the cat.” “You need to put away these things before taking out others.” The parent is able to see how the child thinks and acts in everyday settings. The parent is spending “quantity time” with the child and learns through their own interaction with the child rather than a sterile report from a childcare worker. The parents and child have time to bond allowing both to better understand each other. Much of the teaching and learning takes place during these spontaneous moments when the need presents itself.  These are teachable moments that happen unpredictably and make a significant contribution to the child’s future. Quality time cannot be overestimated as an irreplaceable opportunity to impact a child’s development.

Parents are the ultimate authority figures and teachers of the child. No one can replace that role. The child is an indicator of his parent’s involvement with him. Mannerisms, thoughts, speech, facial expressions are shaped by the parents. There is strong biological connection that cannot be discounted or underestimated. 

When parents relinquish the responsibility as parents their child suffers in numerous ways. They have no security that the parents will always be there for them. They become open to negative people who do not have their best interest at heart. These children often become a burden and a blemish on the family and community.

The parent’s sacred duty is to be there protecting and preparing their child to be the best he/she can be throughout life. Ideally the parents will be committed to the child for the rest of their life. This gives continuity from one generation to another. It cements the most important social unit, the family.

 It goes without saying that parents often play a pivotal role throughout their children’s lives. They should always be there to lend support and to assist their adult child’s journey. Often the parents’ most important legacy is their child and family, which takes time and effort to accomplish. 

Society prospers when children become high functioning citizens. Parents are essential in raising their children. No government program can replace dedicated fathers and mothers in any society. Parents who do their sacred duty deserve the appreciation of all of us.

Domenick Maglio, PhD. is a columnist carried by various newspapers, an author of several books and owner/director of Wider Horizons School, a college prep program. Dr. Maglio is an author of weekly newspaper articles, INVASION WITHIN  and a new just published book, entitled, IN CHARGE PARENTING In a PC World. You can visit Dr. Maglio at www.drmaglio.blogspot.com.