MANY EXPECT A MAGICAL LONGTERM RELATIONSHIP

MANY EXPECT A MAGICAL LONGTERM RELATIONSHIP

BY Domenick J. Maglio PhD. Traditional Realist

We are indoctrinated with false narratives that are distorting reality. Not only in college, in the media, but also through subliminal advertising on television and online. We are told if we join a weight-loss program and eat their products we will lose weight and transform into a muscular male or curvy female body. Besides we will look 10 years younger. The change will take place in a short time of days, weeks or months by eating incredibly tasty meals. It is no longer about the truth of the effectiveness of the product but the quality of the marketing.

There are many more outrageous and guaranteed products that will immediately heal you, stop your craving for cigarettes, invest your money to become instant millionaires, take a psychiatric drug to normalize behavior and learn a foreign language in two weeks. The list goes on and on to alter your frame of mind, social life, sex drive, emotional state, physical health and popularity.

The instant gratification of modern PC child rearing practices is affecting today’s young adults and middle age people’s decision making. These individuals are becoming more and more delusional about how to get whatever they want. They believe they deserve and can get whatever they have determined they want with no effort or determination. These instant gratification addicts are unprepared for gradually developing their future happiness and success. They have a proclivity to believe in magical solutions to life’s problems.

People can get temporarily satisfying feelings from instant gratification purchases. Buying luxury items, an exotic vacation, unique high adrenaline experiences or powerful drug induced highs are just a few examples. However, long-term meaningful things cannot be bought with wishful thinking or money but takes hard work. Usually the more effort a person puts into something, the more memorable and appreciated the results.

The latest absurd level of insanity is witnessed on the online dating services. Adults declare they are looking for a compatible person to start an ecstatic life. Each highlight of these self-absorbed people presents a pseudo cheerful personality. They communicate to anyone and everyone that they want to meet a person as wonderful and as perfect as they are. Each describes their interests and abilities as extraordinarily attractive as possible. One middle-aged female stated she wants to find a long-term relationship not work to develop one. Another actor says, “I am never more ready to fall in love again.” An immature fifty- year old shouts he wants to remain young forever but does not mention what he brings to the relationship besides his immaturity.

Raising children who you can be proud of takes an incredible amount of time, energy and discipline. It does not just unfold on its own. Being a great parent, chef, a builder, homesteader or business executive or anything important takes initiative, perseverance and will power to successfully achieve.

There are people who win a lottery, inherit a large fortune or become instant celebrities by a stroke of luck but do not usually keep the exhilarating feeling that now their life will be perfect. Even though their lives are changed, in a short time they often blow their recently gained assets by making foolish decisions. They end up where they began. This exemplifies the experience that is summed up in “easy come, easy go.”  Without earning something you deserve there is little to no value the person places on it. The fortune and fame flees as quickly as it came.

Long-term loving relationships are the most difficult things to cultivate and bring to fruition. It is simply not finding the perfectly compatible person that makes you whole, that is infatuation. Realizing that you or your mate is not perfect is a good reality foundation to begin a solid relationship. It is growing up together in an honest and at times disturbing awareness of one’s imperfections. Proving oneself right when a significant other often shows the person how wrong they can be. Things one says to another in arrogance can come home to haunt them when the supposedly perfect person is proven wrong.

Many successful parents realize their children taught them well. The most intimate individuals in our lives leave us their insights that have helped us mature wisely. These people can be our children, relatives, and friends and usually the most influential is our mate.

These relationships rarely come by joining a social matching agency where you are supposed to meet your perfect person to love. This could happen although with great effort to be honest, caring and helpful in order to assist the other to be a better human being. In this process of loving another the person learns to love himself.

Love takes time and appreciation of the little things that grow into significant ones. Those potential relationships are right in front of everyone everyday. There is little need to go to an artificial venue to find the perfect mate.  Just treat people how you want to be treated and there will be other people right there for a journey into real love.

Domenick Maglio, PhD. is a columnist carried by various newspapers, an author of several books and owner/director of Wider Horizons School, a college prep program. Dr. Maglio is an author of weekly newspaper articles, INVASION WITHIN  and a new just published book, entitled, IN CHARGE PARENTING In a PC World. You can visit Dr. Maglio at www.drmaglio.blogspot.com.