SOME MOTHERS ARE BEING LIBERATED FROM CAREER BRAINWASHING

SOME MOTHERS ARE BEING LIBERATED FROM CAREER BRAINWASHING

By Domenick J. Maglio PhD. Traditional Realist

Stay-at-home mothers were one of the main targets of the 1960s feminist movement. These mothers were portrayed as victims of the vile patriarchal roots of our nation. According to these dissatisfied and angry females, men controlled all the institutions enslaving females to the home while the men were free to do what they chose. All men were “living the life of Riley” while all females were imprisoned in the feminist narrative.

The feminist strategy to overthrow and replace the patriarchy with a feminist society was to undermine stay-at-home moms by ridiculing the traditional female role. The mass media related story after story of mothers stuck in the home cooking, cleaning, caring for their children and being abused. These housewives were sold a bill of goods that they were missing the excitement of the sexual revolution on college campuses and an affluent and free future as a career woman. This campaign was an overwhelming success.

Large numbers of future housewives bolted from their family home to go to college for their newfound fantasy careers. The ones who did not leave often suffered depression and anxiety from being left behind while the females became sexually liberated. College was women’s salvation while marriage was “walking into a living hell.”

At this juncture in our culture the tide is beginning to turn. Mothers with college degrees and careers are realizing that they cannot recapture the wonderful, precious and special moments of being with their children. These successful and educated career women are choosing to stay at home.

Presently more professional women are voluntarily and gladly giving up their careers for the opportunity of being a mother at home. This is happening with the blessings of their husband who would be the primary provider for the family. These ex-career females have had firsthand experience of interacting with older career women who can be exceedingly unhappy and angry. Their career climbing cost many of these women unfulfilled marriages. Too many females who wanted to have fantastic careers and children at the same time wound up with neither. While they were trying to reach the glass ceiling their fertility biological clock ran out leaving them stunned.

The “celebrated househusband movement” was less satisfying than expected for both the husband and wife. This arrangement was unnatural for both of them. The mother often regretted that she was not able to be in the family loop as much as she would like. She compensated by attempting to be more involved as a sympathetic friend rather than as a directing and nurturing mother.  At times she became upset that the househusband played this role, which he found difficult to relinquish when the mother returned from her business trips. Often this made them rivals for the children’s attention rather than interdependent parents.

Even though the feminist experience continues, there is a growing amount of evidence that this is not the utopian answer to raising healthy functioning children. Just like the Israeli Kibbutz experiments it sounded great on paper but failed to satisfy the participants.  In Israel the communal living, communist Kibbutz experience ended as an unworkable, failed experiment.

The career woman and househusband family configuration has lost its glorious futuristic glow. Parents are realizing that neither the traditional mother nor father role was without benefits. These modern parents have learned that raising a family requires an immense amount of time, energy and commitment by both parents.

Being a perennial adolescent while attempting to be an effective parent is impossible. Fathers and mothers have to put their personal desires on the back burner while their children’s needs and wants are placed on the front burner. Once this wisdom occurs the parents change their parenting vision. They realize the more energy devoted to their children when they are young, pays great dividends and satisfaction as they mature.

No longer do the parents look at their family from their individual perspective but as a family one. This maturity forces them to understand that raising children is a rapid, short time interval that has no “replay” button. They comprehend that a short-term hassle gives you long-term pleasure.

Only by mothers and father doing all they individually can do to help their children become good persons will their offspring blossom. Mothers need to be there to nurture while fathers need to discipline and financially provide for the family while dealing with the pain and hassle of the outside world.

The family is a unit that should not be divided by envy of the necessary roles of the husband or wife. Everyone working together leads to a healthy and satisfied family. There is no simple, magic formula to meet all the obligations of being a parent certainly not by running away to be a career woman.

Domenick Maglio, PhD. is a columnist carried by various newspapers, an author of several books and owner/director of Wider Horizons School, a college prep program. Dr. Maglio is an author of weekly newspaper articles, INVASION WITHIN  and a new just published book, entitled, IN CHARGE PARENTING In a PC World. You can visit Dr. Maglio at www.drmaglio.blogspot.com.