KNOWING THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN REALITY AND FANTASY

KNOWING THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN REALITY AND FANTASY

By Domenick J. Maglio PhD. Traditional Realist

Television has become passé for many youngster people. Preschoolers often have their own tablets, kindles, and electronic games. These devices are changed and updated so often it is almost impossible for most parents to constantly monitor what their child is viewing. Most parents are not that vigilant. In essence many children have the exposure without the guidance to decide on their own the world they want to gravitate towards.

The one thing that is certain, much of the material is going to be animated fantasy, not reality. Parents should point out the difference between fantasy and reality or our youngsters will not be able to distinguish between them. Reality has very little appeal to children. It is often boring compared to virtual interactive games. It is for this reason parents must teach what differentiates reality from fantasy. This contrast is essential for good decision-making.

For actually understanding reality the first lesson parents need to establish is that they are the head of the household. Children need to listen to the commands of the parents for their own safety. The child has to learn he has to ask permission before he attempts to do something out of the ordinary. It sets up reasonable boundaries for the child to protect him from his ignorant decision making skills. Without reality training children have no predictability concerning the consequences of their own actions.

Parents of infants, toddlers and preschoolers need to have sufficient quantity time with their child to train them how to perceive reality, think and behave. Teachable moments occur spontaneously making it important for parents to maximize the time they spend with their children. This will increase the frequency of spontaneous lessons the child needs for his overall development.

The reality is that the parents are in charge of the family because they know more about life. They are wiser which enables them to make better decisions than their inexperienced child. There can be no equality of roles for obvious reasons. Children are oblivious of many of life’s hazards without warning and direction from parents.

Children are not born with any reality indicator. They have to be taught by the parents what is possible or impossible to be done by humans, animals or objects.

People cannot jump from great heights and miraculously survive even though they may see it on video.  When some children put on a Superman costume they believe they can fly out of the window. This has happened and it has not been pretty. It is the parent’s responsibility to inform the child of this fact to prevent a serious tragedy. Animals do not drive cars, work in a business or live in mansions as they appear to do in a virtual world.

In modern parenting, reality is shunned and fantasy is encouraged to cushion the harsh reality of life. Discussing evil has become taboo so as not to frighten the child’s sensibilities. Coddling children from reality is an ill-advised policy. Evil people do exist and are more tolerated than ever before. Children need to understand the consequences of behaviors and actions as there are more choices than ever before that can result in disastrous consequences.

Most importantly youngsters need to be warned about evil people and self- destructive horrible behaviors such as abuse, abductions of children, and sexual exploitation. Children need to be taught about out-of-control drug use, eating and sleeping addictions so they can be avoided. Reality training will prevent many possible disasters to innocent children by opening their eyes.

Parents are endowed with an immense amount of knowledge they gained from their own parents, teachers, adults and just living life. The parents are smarter and obliged to share these insights and knowledge with their children to assist them in having an uneventful, safe childhood. Parents should share their hardships and accomplishments of their ancestors. This family history can illustrate that life is never without challenges that have to be overcome. These lessons of conquering adversity can be inspirational for different segments of a maturing person’s existence.

The message of contributing to the family’s well being by their schoolwork and eventual employment cannot be repeated often enough. It should be stated that the odds of becoming successful and productive citizens increases immensely with the improving work ethic.

Arming one’s child with strategies to deal with reality issues is a wonderful and loving gift parents need to provide their child. Leaving the nest is a crucial event in a person’s life. The parental preparation for the child maturing should have happened throughout the developmental years. This training, as well as a good dose of luck and prayer, practically insures success as the youngster has been trained in reality. Reality training in this period of virtual existence is more important than ever before.

Domenick Maglio, PhD. is a columnist carried by various newspapers, an author of several books and owner/director of Wider Horizons School, a college prep program. Dr. Maglio is an author of weekly newspaper articles, INVASION WITHIN  and a new just published book, entitled, IN CHARGE PARENTING In a PC World. You can visit Dr. Maglio at www.drmaglio.blogspot.com.