LEADERS NEED TO BE IN-CHARGE, NOT LIKED

LEADERS NEED TO BE IN-CHARGE, NOT LIKED

By Domenick J. Maglio Ph.D. Traditional Realist

In our modern culture, being “liked” by everyone especially one’s children is considered a great virtue. The more social networking and Facebook “friends” you have, the more likely you are held in high esteem by yourself and others. This happens even though many of these “friends” never have had personal interaction with each other. Reputation is based on the virtual presence we script ourselves not on our actual behavior and deeds.

When we are in a leadership position such as being a parent, CEO of a business, politician, teacher or any other in-charge position the long term results matter more than one’s likeability. Leaders have to set down the behavioral rules for everyone involved in reaching specific goals for the individual and group performance.  Any productive leader has to hold members accountable for their overall performance. This often does not make the head of an organization a popular figure.

All effective, responsible leaders have to make difficult choices for the group over the individual. This means the individual who has been disciplined is going to be greatly upset. Depending on how the person reacts to the leader’s actions it would determine that subordinate’s future. If he becomes indignant he will probably end up being reprimanded or even fired. When he learns his lesson without being reactive, he will more than likely be given another chance.

Respect of the person in-charge is far more important than likeability. A sports coach who is winning will keep his position while one who is loved by his players will eventually be dismissed if he does not win. This merit-based policy is still an accepted value of our culture. 

An in-charge, demanding parent might be considered mean spirited or worse in the short run but usually transforms into a kinder person as the child matures into an adult. As the child matures and learns the lessons learned were true dividends to elevate the level of respect for the parent.

Not wanting to be disliked is a weakness that undermines leadership. Many great leaders were appreciated and loved by their subordinates not for their weaknesses but for their strengths. If the leader makes a decision based on the possible negative reaction of a person rather than the unit, he will lose the respect of the group and his power. 

These committed associates believe in the objectives and purpose of the mission. They understand that the positive accomplishments are more important than whether if they are liked or not. Leaders have to set the goals and have everyone using all their skills and energies to reach these expressed goals.

Whatever method the person in-charge employs, it should align with the group’s perception of the way the world works. It should be based on the same values and objectives that were previously spoken that inspired the group to achieve the mission that was emphatically stressed by the leader.

Being liked is easy when you give people what they want. A phony who lies can initially get the group temporarily to back them. Although using this tactic makes it almost impossible to establish group cohesiveness and energy to fulfill the set goals. Sooner, not later the lies come to the surface exposing the insincerity of the leader.

The reverse happens when a leader is authentic. An in-charge person is one who wants to get things done and has to focus on goals and objectives. The head has to consistently remind the staff that their position is essential in achieving their mission and the group’s goals. There is little time and energy to waste on political niceties to establish that the person is a nice guy.

Instead these goal driven people let the chips fall where they may as long as they reach their specific objectives. In this process the people witness the positive results. The satisfaction of being successful builds the confidence and motivation of the employees’ mission as attainable. This solidifies the groups’ determination that they are working for more than a paycheck. The staff comes to realize they are creating a legacy for the good of others.

Likeability of the person may give the receiver and sender a warm, fuzzy feeling. However, it does not do anything concrete to produce a better life or future for others.

Developing a system, ideas or a product that enhances the life of others is more permanent than likeability. When the first leaders, the parents, demand normal appropriate behavior from their children they may not be liked but eventually they would be proud of the children they raised. 

Domenick J. Maglio, PhD. is a columnist carried by various newspapers, an author of several books and owner/director of Wider Horizons School, a college prep program. Dr. Maglio is an author of weekly newspaper articles, INVASION WITHIN  and a new book entitled, IN CHARGE PARENTING In a PC World. You can see many of Dr. Maglio’s articles at www.drmaglioblogspot.com.