LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT

 LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT

By Domenick J. Maglio Ph.D. Traditional Realist

 

 

In life everyone is dealt a different hand. Some are born tall or short, rich, or poor, dark, or light skinned, deformed or physically intact, bright or dull, from a happy or dysfunctional family, and unique in many other ways. Yet all people have one thing in common: they all have freedom of choice. The decisions they make are the difference between a dignified or a pathetic life.

 

The wonderful thing about being a citizen of the US is that we have more opportunity than any citizens in the world. This translates into being able to find something you want to do as long as you are willing to make the necessary sacrifice to do it. There has to be a willingness to start at the bottom and work up with a positive attitude and take on more responsibility without complaint about not having immediate compensation. There should also be a willingness to take risks by moving somewhere with better employment opportunities, taking on new challenges, or investing time and money to establish your own enterprise. 

 

With opportunity comes the necessity of focusing one’s energy without making excuses or poor choices. Excuses and eliminating choices are the death sentence for obtaining a person’s goals. You can observe this in schools where many teenagers use ridiculous excuses such as “my parents did not help me,” “I had a headache”, “my books are at my other parent’s house,” and “I had no time” or “I am not smart enough.” There should be no excuses or lazy choices that are acceptable when you are highly motivated. 

 

Temporary setbacks such as an accident, illness, divorce, bankruptcy, or the death of a loved one have to be confronted and overcome. The adversity a person conquers is a life lesson that makes the individual stronger. Military soldiers who get blown up in a war zone are amazing examples of a person’s tenacity. Soldiers who lost several limbs and whose spouses left because of their inability to deal with the secondary pain of witnessing their struggle are just some of the problems soldiers have to overcome. PTSD is an issue of many returning vets that has to be overcome through tremendous psychological power of the mind.

 

When you see individuals and young children with severe physical issues put on their prosthetics, battling to learn how to adapt to their body, it shows us the mental strength of human beings. Not only are these people inspirational to us all but should shame us out of wallowing in our insignificant difficulties. 

 

When an individual does not confront obstacles necessary to lay a strong foundation to solve future difficulties they remain in a “why me?” state. If this habit of despairing over very little continues it will end in becoming a failure in one’s own mind.  On the other hand, the person who learns to employ his past learning experiences to gain insight has a reservoir of skills, confidence, and knowledge to tackle even the most difficult situations that life has to offer. Personal “willpower” increases as the person shows himself that he can conquer serious obstacles, which can block him from reaching his goals. This self-taught knowledge is mind over matter and appears to have become a lost art.

 

In comparison, people who are stuck in their setbacks and chronic difficulties produce a life of misery. Their passive approach paralyzes them which does nothing to solve the problem.  Rather it erodes the person’s confidence and discourages him from focusing on the issues at hand. They become incapacitated to deal with even the most insignificant and trivial difficulties.

 

Our approach to living determines our future. We have freedom of choice to make our decisions to live the life we want. When we consistently think in the short run, we are living an instant gratification life, which usually does not end in happiness and inner satisfaction. Without putting aside savings for unforeseen future occurrences like disease, accident, natural disasters or just old age, the ability to rebuild their lifestyle is slow and limited. Many people just complain about their bad luck instead of using their resources to solve their issues.

 

“Live for today” and “disregard the future” were notions of the hippies in the 1960s. It is a short sighted and utopian view of living a good life through their entire existence. The odds of this occurring are very low and almost delusional. Let us get back to a more mature, reality life-style.  We need to do the necessary things that prepare us for the inevitabilities in each stage of the life cycle that normally confront us.

 

 

Domenick Maglio, PhD. is a columnist carried by various newspapers, an author of several books and owner/director of Wider Horizons School, a college prep program. Dr. Maglio is an author of weekly newspaper articles, INVASION WITHIN  and a new just published book, entitled, IN CHARGE PARENTING In a PC World. You can visit Dr. Maglio at www.drmaglio.blogspot.com.

 

 

 

AUTISTIC SPECTRUM DISORDER: GROWING ALARMINGLY, CAN BE OUTGROWN, NOT DEFINED

 AUTISTIC SPECTRUM DISORDER: GROWING ALARMINGLY, CAN BE OUTGROWN, NOT DEFINED

By Domenick J. Maglio PhD. Traditional Realist

 

A current psychological headline read there has been an 52% spike in autism since 2017.  This means one in 30 children has been diagnosed and put on the “autistic spectrum.” This disorder is increasing at an alarming rate with no immediate end in sight.

 

According to the research autistic deficiencies in social interaction can be substantially changed in the early childhood years. A child with a blank countenance and little eye contact can be taught to become more expressive. Many children that exhibit repetitive ritualistic behavior can gain more imaginative behavior. Others can surprisingly expand their interests into more varied endeavors. These new interests of young children are usually spontaneous without any intervention. It is like an orchid that stays in the state of hibernation then suddenly comes to life. 

 

Nearly 30% of children diagnosed with autistic syndrome disorder develop appropriate social communications and interactional skills by age six. These children were delayed in various skills and abilities. It is found five times more often in boys than in girls. When young female children are diagnosed with this disorder, they have fewer symptoms with less intensity in those symptoms than the boys. Girls are less inclined to be delayed in developing social communication and interpersonal skills. Boys are obviously prone to have more autistic deficits than girls.

 

ASD (Autistic Spectrum Disorder) is not a death sentence. It can often be corrected with changes in the child’s daily life. The USA has been altered radically over the past few decades. Many mothers have entered the labor market. Marriages are less stable often with the father being the one to have limited rights of custody or be involved daily with their offspring.  

Authority figures in our current culture are not exerting their power and insist that children under their supervision follow appropriate and correct behavior.

 

The breakup of the traditional family unit has been well documented as having a negative impact on many children. When children have less time with their parents much of the loving instruction and lifelong lessons are lost. Parents should work as a team and often the child may be able to manipulate each parent individually. The inconsistent visits and positive attention often affect the children uniquely. 

 

Sometimes the resentment of the young child towards their parent’s absence is seen in their lack of reaction to the parent. Children often strike back at their parent’s behavior by shutting down their compliance to the parents’ directives or worse, regress into a more infantile state.  To a mental health professional this regressive state can be misconstrued as a developmental delay rather than a reaction to the parents’ lack of loving attention to the youngster when the child needs and demands it.

 

If a young child’s lack of appropriate social communication and interactional skills is not a genetic defect or chemical imbalance but instead is often caused by a lack of a loving, nurturing environment, the approach to remediate this disorder has to be revised. 

 

We know some children labeled with ASD improve with no specific intervention and other children have outgrown the ASD behaviors. This would indicate that many parents and other loved ones, family members and friends, should be encouraged to reinforce positive behaviors when the child exhibits them. In other words, these loved ones should be unleashed to give the child loving attention and encourage the child in a gentle manner to be aware that what they did should be repeated.

 

Examples:

“Thank you for paying attention by looking into my eyes.”

“I love your smile.”

“You said it already, you do not have to repeat it.”

“You have improved in learning how to catch a ball.”

 

Probably the most dramatic impact would be if the parent instructs their youngster in appropriate mannerisms. Young children cannot easily express themselves well although the body language cues can be powerful indicators of how to enter the child ‘s world. Once in the child’s world, a loving parent can already teach simple verbal games for the child’s development. These games should be easy and joyful to make a connection that will grow in time. The more intimate the relationship between the person and the child, and the stronger and lasting the interaction between them, the greater will be the impact and improvement. 

 

None of these recommendations mentioned here were scientifically verified. However, a more shocking fact in the bible of mental health providers, the DSM5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual Five), many of these same behaviors are listed as indicators of the ASD spectrum. At the end of the list of inappropriate behaviors the manual states “any individual could have some or none of these symptoms. Keep in mind that having these symptoms does not necessarily mean a person has autism. Only a qualified medical professional can diagnose autistic spectrum disorder.” 

 

This definition of ASD is unable to pass the scientific “smell” test.

 

 

Domenick Maglio, PhD. is a columnist carried by various newspapers and blogs, an author of several books and owner/director of Wider Horizons School, a college prep program. Dr. Maglio is an author of weekly newspaper articles, INVASION WITHIN  and the latest book entitled, IN CHARGE PARENTING In a PC World. You can see many of Dr. Maglio’s articles at www.drmaglioblogspot.com.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

YOU CAN BURN THE U.S. FLAG BUT NOT THE BLM FLAG

 YOU CAN BURN THE U.S. FLAG BUT NOT THE BLM FLAG

By Domenick J. Maglio, PhD. Traditional Realist

 

Burning flags is an extreme act. Burning something that many patriots hold sacred is a hate filled political statement.  Accepting anyone burning America’s stars and stripes is a testimony that our nation profoundly believes in free speech.  Accepting the destruction of something you love and honor shows the high esteem citizens have for the freedom of expression even when they profoundly disagree.  

 

American citizens have the legal right to question all aspects of our culture and government system. Free speech allows for debate of ideas and opinions that stimulate thinking. The open discussion of policies by the people as well as politicians is a necessary exchange of ideas to keep us free. 

 

Burning the Black Lives Matter flag has resulted in arrests for hate crimes. Burning that flag is considered too inflammatory to allow to happen even when considering the right of free speech.

 

Not only do elected government officials have the right to express their feelings but every citizen has the same right. When government representatives do not listen to citizen’s viewpoints, they are only representing the powerful elites who often buy their allegiance. 

 

As this political establishment joins with the social media free speech is curtailed along with open discussion of ideas and heads us towards an autocratic society. Once our political elites have most of the media as advocates, their political power increases exponentially. In the United States it has been established that a citizen, no matter how anti-American, is protected even if they burn the American flag. In many American rallies, an individual can take out a US flag, stomp on it and burn it. This has become “protected speech” especially when done by people of the “protected classes.” 

 

These haters of the US have always existed and will continue to exist in the future. They can move to another nation although they will not, more people are coming into the US than leaving.

The US has people from all over the world who apply for citizenship often waiting ten years to complete.  Currently millions of illegal immigrants are invading the United States of America. This is sufficient testimony of how the rest of the world feels about coming to America.  The US is not perfect, but people feel it is far better than many other nations of the world.

 

Nevertheless, the social media and “woke” politicians have taken another step to degrade the US. Currently people who burn the BLM (Black Lives Matter) flag can be arrested for a hate crime. In other worlds a member of BLM or Antifa or any other protected class can do or say anything against our nation, with impunity. 

 

The concept of free speech has been twisted by the woke media and elite politicians when they announced that certain words or ideas are so politically incorrect that the person using them should be “cancelled.” This does not allow the cancelled person’s viewpoints to be seen or heard. 

 

The woke media has been anointed high priest of what is allowed to be said according to the woke censors certain declared topics cannot be considered a part of free speech. Some of these cancelled topics are: Covid is a biological weapon; Black and White “peaceful” rioters during the “summer of love” were raging criminals; January 6^th was not an insurrection; the 2020 election was rigged; false medical information was pushed by the CDC that allowed political elites to dismantle our freedoms one-by-one. 

 

Many in the media are even attempting to frame the American flag as a symbol of “white racism.” All the Asians, Blacks, and Europeans who worked, fought, and died to make America great will have to accept the woke revisionist history. This use of our media to indoctrinate us can only succeed if we continue to remain fearfully silent.

 

This is certainly not any longer about American freedom of speech. It is about destroying the USA from within for a new world social order to be imposed by the worldwide cabal. These political elites are attempting to crush any hope of free individuals having a say in the laws that will govern them.

 

The vast number of people in the United States are silent concerning minority groups who are encouraged to express lie after lie to weaken the fiber of our country. When the tiny woke minority has control of what is allowed to be discussed, there is no freedom of speech. It is cancelled speech that must be resisted by all freedom loving Americans

 

When a free nation allows its own flag to be debased, while protecting the BLM flag that stands for everything un-American, something is wrong. This means the government is holding up hatred as a sanctioned virtue and the freest nation on earth as evil. There is something very different from free speech happening here. 

 

Domenick Maglio, PhD. is a columnist carried by various newspapers and blogs, an author of several books and owner/director of Wider Horizons School, a college prep program. Dr. Maglio is an author of weekly newspaper articles, INVASION WITHIN  and the latest book entitled, IN CHARGE PARENTING In a PC World. You can see many of Dr. Maglio’s articles at www.drmaglioblogspot.com.

 

 

SELFISHNESS HAS REPLACED CONCERN FOR OTHERS

 SELFISHNESS HAS REPLACED CONCERN FOR OTHERS

By Domenick J. Maglio PhD. Traditional Realist

 

In the recent past most of us were instructed by our parents and other authorities to be polite to others. As a person grew into adulthood, they were supposed to be more sensitive to the needs of the less fortunate. Anyone with a handicap, such as an elder losing their faculties, immobility of an infant, physically disabled, or mentally disabled person were not to be taken advantage of, ridiculed or shunned. It was expected that healthy individuals who were blessed with all their faculties and good health were morally obliged to assist the less fortunate. 

 

Our society has gone from helping others in the community and the family to the self-actualization of an individual. In our current culture, the focus is on the concerns of the individual. The me-generation of the 1960s has passed on their message to their children and grandchildren that the best and brightest should focus solely on themselves to get ahead. The emphasis is on how to make decisions that affect their ability to get ahead financially, not what is best for others.

 

The self-centered perspective has made it difficult to develop unity. The past breakdown of the patriarchal family and currently the nuclear family is dissolving at a frightening pace into serial/open marriages. These fragmented families have fewer members living in the home with the children. Often there is a single parent who often works long hours to maintain a previous lifestyle. The result is the child being profoundly influenced by social media. This can lead them into the perverse world of too many choices without adult guidance. When online many of these children are being lectured by deviant adults or radicalized peers. 

 

This lack of adult guidance leaves youngsters devoid of caring for the needs of others besides themselves. The lack of one parent or the other leaves a vacuum in perspective by a particular parent who spends minimal or no time with the child. Extended families: grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins who no longer enter the child’s world remove life lesson the child never receives. Our children are not seeing adults caring for their loved ones in their homes. Presently the ill or infirm are in facilities that isolate them from sharing insights with their loved ones.

 

These lessons are not necessarily formal ones but lessons nevertheless that should be considered. Small considerations such as giving an older person help in getting up, allowing someone to go first instead of rushing in front of them, waiting until a person finishes speaking verbal pleasantries like “good day,” complimenting a person on how nice they look should be encouraged. Today many youngsters are rude, and many adults disregard the obvious and helpful pleasantries that would assist others and can even be cruel. 

 

A society that has lost its compassion for others is losing its soul. The inability to help others when in need means individuals have lost their humanity in a fiendish craving to get ahead. People who do not pass on their understanding and love to others are takers, not givers. As more people become like this the culture becomes more and more hedonistic. People join groups (tribes) that reinforce their selfish pleasures and isolates them from responsibility for anyone else who might need them. These pleasure seekers remove themselves from the reality that they will need others in the later stages of their lives. 

 

Towards the inevitable end of their lives, they will realize they lost many opportunities to help others that could have made a positive difference in the person’s life and their own. They are not givers who add goodness to society but often become bitter to kind people who helped others by their example.

 

Selfishness is not a virtue; it is a sin as it is not an act of making the lives of others better. Selfishness leaves a dying person without memories that would warm their heart but only leaves them a sense of emptiness from a life that could have been very different. People beginning to become takers are witnessing the emptiness of others who have taken the same selfish path.

 

Many givers who never felt their life was anything special are also seeing that the people who constantly repeated their financial and social climbing accomplishments have few people who really love them. These woke, self-centered individuals often end up in institutions with no close, loving visitors. Self-aggrandizement on earth is not a way to get to a place in the highest level of love and peace.  

 

 

Domenick Maglio, PhD. is a columnist carried by various newspapers and blogs, an author of several books and owner/director of Wider Horizons School, a college prep program. Dr. Maglio is an author of weekly newspaper articles, INVASION WITHIN and the latest book entitled, IN CHARGE PARENTING In a PC World. You can see many of Dr. Maglio’s articles at www.drmaglioblogspot.com.