DISCIPLINING A CHILD REQUIRES EARLY DILIGENCE

DISCIPLINING A CHILD REQUIRES EARLY DILIGENCE

By Domenick J. Maglio PhD. Traditional Realist

“He who spares a rod (of discipline) hates his son. But he who loves him disciplines him diligently and punishes him early. Proverb 1.3.24 AMP

The Unites States had moved very far away from Biblical wisdom. Modern child rearing is about maintaining an open communication with one’s children. The child is supposed to be treated equally, on the same level as the parent. Discipline of the child is supposed to come organically from the egalitarian and caring environment created at home.

The consequences of this permissive/materialistic approach to raising children have become evident after the general public has been adhering to them for five decades. Children are more outspoken, debating every safety and other directive given to them. They have difficulty following directions as they are rarely given any to follow. They have few if any chores required of them. These children’s opportunity to study adults interacting among themselves is very limited. Most of the time children spontaneously join in any conversation they encounter and often dominate it. There are no boundaries enforced that even hint that children should “be seen and not heard.” They are deprived of the skill of listening in order to learn. Simultaneously they are saturated with false esteem statements of how wonderful and smart they are.

Children are in the middle of the mix spouting their naïve and nonsensical opinions as fact. While adults pretend to listen intently. Many children believe they are smarter and stronger willed than their parents. This observation is constantly being reinforced by the parents giving in to the children’s demands while the children persist until the parents capitulate and the child is victorious. This scenario is allowed to happen time after time verifying this apparent truth that children do not have to listen to parents or any other authority figure such as a teacher.

To reverse this warped picture of modern families, parents need to make it clear it is their duty to be in charge. Children do not have the wherewithal to make an appropriate and wise decision for other family members and especially for themselves when they are in the early stages of life. The modern child is not as intelligent as he is led to believe, while the discipline of the parents is incredibly pathetic.

Establishing their power as parents requires them acting as parents instead of equals or friends to their children. They have to be in the family for sufficient periods of time to assert their authority. Quality time, not only quantity time is essential for ensuring the child that the parents will be at home enough to direct and protect them. When this happens children naturally become more comfortable that their parents can function as responsible leaders in the family.

This leadership starts with simple commands to their child. “Take this to your mother.” “You need to eat this food to be healthy.” “Please come to the table, now.”

The child experiences that the parents know how to accomplish caring for them. The more the parents establish their authority, the more the child sees the parents as the head of the family.  Any power conflict between parents becomes minimal when parents quickly use an authoritarian voice, manner and appropriate consequence when the child oversteps the boundaries.

Being a positive disciplinarian does take early intervention diligently performed during the child’s formative years. The punishments should be just right for the offense. The consequences should be “just right” consequences that are explained to the child after being given. The explanation helps the child not resent the parent’s punishment but understand they made the wrong decision and need to correct it.

When the child is ready to push his obstinence the parent may emphasize their resolve by moderate spanking to remind the child who is boss. This will not destroy the child’s faith in mankind but will emphasize the parents’ authority as head of the family.

This moderate spank, certainly not an abusive one, has been shown in studies not to have negative mental, emotional, social or any other detrimental effects on the child’s development. It is wise to use moderate spanking early when a toddler shows defiance and is used as often as appropriate. It is necessary to show the child the parent’s willingness to show the child right from wrong. Ignoring a child is often more destructive to his well beingerin.

Learning to listen and follow wise and caring elder’s advice guides a youngster to best navigate life’s decisions. This loving act of disciplining the child puts the child

 on the straight and narrow path to healthy and successful development.

Domenick Maglio, PhD. is a columnist carried by various newspapers, an author of several books and owner/director of Wider Horizons School, a college prep program. Dr. Maglio is an author of weekly newspaper articles, INVASION WITHIN  and a new book, entitled, IN CHARGE PARENTING In a PC World. You can visit Dr. Maglio at www.drmaglio.blogspot.com.

SOLVING STUDENT'S LACK OF ATTENTION

SOLVING STUDENT’S LACK OF ATTENTION

By Domenick J. Maglio, PhD. Traditional Realist

The childhood epidemic of Attention Deficit Disorder and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder is misleading. Children with this diagnosis can focus very well on things that interest them. The real issue is they have an unwillingness to concentrate on things they are told to do where they have little interest when they want they can pay attention.

The overwhelming majority of these students can eagerly spend hours playing video games, watching television, reading about dinosaurs, putting on make up or doing their nails. It is not a problem of paying attention; it is a narrow and limited field of interest and a lack of discipline to work to expand it.

Our schools have seen this phenomenon of students not paying attention in certain academic areas but focusing like a laser beam on things they like. It is negatively affecting students’ learning especially when studying something that demands building a foundation of knowledge.  Students in school have to learn and relearn fundamental facts and skills to build a solid broad knowledge base. A major part of school is not always new and exciting but must be done to be able to reach a higher level of thinking.

 It would be counter productive and obscene to label every inattentive child although we are trying with a vengeance to do it in our nation. The latest approach to tackle this phenomenon is to teach the teachers to make instruction more interesting by using the student’s interest to sneak in necessary subject matter. This approach has not been effective because it wastes valuable time on entertainment rather than developing a strong academic foundation.

The appeasement of students through immediate gratification does nothing to correct a student’s focus deficit; instead it increases it. The entertainment and game approach to teaching may have temporary success but is destined to fail because it is competing with television and Hollywood professionals. Student entertainment expectations are too high to match on a daily basis. Inventing games to help slide new information into the student’s brains does nothing to impress him that it will take self-discipline to concentrate and solve future problems. Persevering until one succeeds is not being fostered.

Students have to be convinced that concentrating on things that society has deemed important opens up new worlds. The dosages of work given to a reluctant student in a particular area should be short and sweet. The exposure to difficult subjects for the child should end with success and be followed by an activity that is highly regarded by the student. As the child tastes greater facility in the formerly distasteful subject the child should be made aware that his feeling for the subject is becoming more favorable.

Most children have a proclivity in language arts or the math area but rarely both. It is the teacher’s creative power that is needed to set up situations to show how to master simple fundamental skills. This builds the competencies of reluctant students in these more difficult skill areas. The mastering of these competencies enhances the child's self-confidence to try more challenging work. Once the student develops more competence in the subject he begins to rely more on himself and less on the teacher.

The best antidote for a child’s unwillingness and inability to pay attention to a task is not drugs but delayed gratification training. The individual’s simple success in a difficult area for him is essential in beginning this process. An authority figure begins with breaking down the task into small simple steps. As the child’s ability to perform increases in complexity he learns the answer he seeks will occur by first defining and observing the problem. The higher his level of expectation for completing a task, the more the person gains patience in searching for the answer. His willingness to accept the fact that he needs additional time to come up with the answer is delaying the gratification of completing the activity. Delaying immediate gratification for a greater payoff down the road is a necessary trait of maturity. 

Discerning people cannot accept the narrative that we have a sudden explosion of defective children with an inability to be attentive. They would be more likely to agree our lack of childrearing training and the instant gratification of our culture are the main culprits for this phenomenon.  Attention deficit of our children is real but the solution is not chemical, it is training the child to carefully observe situations long enough to come up with a possible solution and test it to see if it works.

Nudging a student to pay attention by sugar coating a lesson is ignoring the real issue. Students have to realize the power of applying their mental energy is the most effective way to arrive at a solution. It will increase success in all of life’s tasks.  The more the student sees the positive results of focusing on problem solving, the more he becomes an independent and strong learner.

Domenick Maglio, PhD. is a columnist carried by various newspapers, an author of several books and owner/director of Wider Horizons School, a college prep program. Dr. Maglio is an author of weekly newspaper articles, INVASION WITHIN  and a new just published book, entitled, IN CHARGE PARENTING In a PC World. You can visit Dr. Maglio at www.drmaglio.blogspot.com.

SAFETY'S COST IS STAGNATION AND LOSS OF FREEDOM

SAFETY ‘S COST IS STAGNATION AND LOSS OF FREEDOM

By Domenick J. Maglio PhD. Traditional Realist

“We are fast approaching the stage of ultimate inversion: the stage where the government can do anything it pleases while the citizens may and can only by permission.” Ayn Rand

Americans have been a courageous people who came here for freedom and opportunity. First the Pilgrims came seeking religious freedom. Then adventurers came wanting to be part of building a new nation. Then those from all over the world came in search of a better life. They did not come in search of security but to improve their lives. Each was more than willing to pay the price to get what they wanted.

Benjamin Franklin once said: "Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety."

The US at this time in history is at a crossroads. Some people want the new status quo with many guaranteed benefits and others seek to better themselves in the Spirit of Americans who built the greatest nation on earth. This country was not founded on government guaranteeing people what they wanted. Instead they allowed citizens to make their own choices without government restrictions and permission. The free marketplace determined the economy of the nation.

People with “money,” capital determined on their own to risk their resources on a venture. They decided on salaries they were willing to pay for an employee to do a specific job at a certain salary. It was a contract between employee and employer. The risks of the enterprise fell solely on the capitalist and the dangers of performing the job on the employee. The more difficult, time demanding and potentially dangerous the job the worker had to decide to accept or reject the compensation on the word and reputation of the owner. It was a contract that had to be agreed to by both parties. The risk had to be worth the reward. When the position was essential to the operation of the business, the salary increased to attract workers.

Many of the positions were highly demanding and risky especially in projects that tried man’s imagination. These were never done before. The intercontinental railroad, the Brooklyn Bridge, the Panama and Suez Canals, oil exploration industry and skyscrapers were a handful of endeavors that tested man’s courage and perseverance. Everyone who accepted the job thought the rewards outweighed the liabilities. Safety issues were decided by the worker every time he performed his responsibilities. Anyone who did not possess the desire to advance himself or have the bravery to do the job would quit.

America would never have grown at such a rapid pace if government bureaucrats dictated conditions of employment. Government interference in the capitalist system results in a government controlled economy and the elimination of free market enterprises. Once government gets involved in picking winners and losers incentive diminishes and innovation is stifled.

The statist economies of government-controlled bureaucracies have historically stagnated throughout the world.  In the USSR, Cuba, Venezuela, China (until it encouraged some free market competition) and many former Banana Republics such as North Korea have deteriorated and become more repressive.

The USA is in the midst of a peaceful reestablishment of limiting government power to free the American people. The people have rejected the “Big Daddy/Nanny government” state. We want to make America great again by returning the freedom to the people to let them decide what is best for their individual needs.

This means local as well as state and federal governments need to stop forcing us to do things that are against our best interest. The people need to tell the local governments we do not want or need a larger government that dictates to us what we can and cannot do on our own property.  Through an absurd, out-of-control permitting process these local bureaucrats are indoctrinating the public to the idea that we constantly have to increase our taxes to protect our safety. According to proponents of larger government, hiring more police, fireman and non-teacher supervisors will protect public lives and improve public education.

This pronouncement has to be openly opposed. When we increase the taxes of citizens we are decreasing their financial power to decide how they should choose to spend their own hard earned money. This is unconscionable since the people are supposed to tell the government what they want done, not the other way around.

The fastest growing segment of unions in the United States is government workers.

Allowing government workers to unionize is destructive and contrary to a representative republic. Government workers are to serve the public interest not their own by holding us hostage. In a letter he wrote in 1937 to Luther Steward, president of the National Federation of Federal Employees, FDR said, “All government employees should realize the process of collective bargaining assuredly understands cannot be transplanted into the public service… “ Since their own service has to do with functioning of government, a strike of public employees manifests nothing less than an attempt on their part to prevent or obstruct the operation of government until the demands are satisfied. Such actions looking towards the paralysis of government by those who have sworn to support it, is unthinkable and intolerable.”

What FDR stated in 1937 is even more important today. The local government workers have more rights to prevent removal from their positions than do private sector employees. It is almost impossible to remove an employee for any reason. The government union members are growing in number as well as in power. The citizens of our communities deserve to be treated with total respect and have their needs served by the government workers or the government worker position should be terminated.

Local government representatives are not in the position to alienate one of the largest and most vocal groups in their county. These representatives have no incentive to go against the unions except in the long run where increased benefit packages have bankrupted many treasuries of large cities. Eventually the exorbitant contracts with unions will become unsustainable. Some courageous citizens and representatives need to stand up.

The only way for citizens to gain control of their local government is to stop government worker unionization. This will be a struggle but can be done for the sake of all taxpaying citizens. They just need to understand the result of unionizing government workers is not in the people’s interest.

Domenick Maglio, PhD. is a columnist carried by various newspapers, an author of several books and owner/director of Wider Horizons School, a college prep program. Dr. Maglio is an author of weekly newspaper articles, INVASION WITHIN  and a new just published book, entitled, IN CHARGE PARENTING In a PC World. You can visit Dr. Maglio at www.drmaglio.blogspot.com.