SHIELDING A CHILD FROM REALITY FOR TOO LONG

SHIELDING A CHILD FROM REALITY FOR TOO LONG

by Domenick J. Maglio PhD., Traditional Realist

There are many things young children do not need to know. Parental disharmony, family finances,  drug use, pornography or violence are not matters young children can or should digest. It is better to avoid long discussions that could result in more confusion and possible trauma than clarification.

Children should be exposed to small bites of direct information about subjects they question. These can range from birth, death, sex, crime or moral values to many other areas of concern. The answers should be appropriate to the maturity of the child.

The older the child the greater is the need to introduce the dark or real side of life. A young person has to be aware that a stranger should not readily be accepted as a friend. Physical and mental safety depends on knowledge of addictive behavior and possible antics of a con or an immoral deviant. Life has many dangers that should not be hidden. A naïve child has a greater chance to be chosen by a predator as a target than an aware child.

To protect a child he has to be taught the consequences for good and bad behavior. Parents should take the time to point out the tragic end product of a destructive lifestyle. A drunk or drug addict staggering in the streets should not be ignored but used as an object lesson of the evils of abusing one's body and mind.  The identification and arrest of a sexual predator in the media should trigger a family discussion to instruct the child how to act when alone and approached by a stranger.

Parents need to sternly warn the child not to accept candy, gifts or follow stranger’s demands of going with them or engage in mutual touching.

Parents and elders have to teach the child the importance of being judgmental. The negative outcome of being committed to laziness, lying and stealing is hard for a youngster to comprehend. It takes an aware adult to point out to a youth the inevitable outcome of a person who habitually lies, steals, is lazy and does not contribute to others.  The best examples to use to educate a child are real ones in his environment. Lectures do not work well but people's lives speak for themselves.

Local news stories and celebrities in the media who have committed criminal or bizarre behavior against self or others should be topics discussed. There should be conversations as to why a person with a PhD. degree is begging on the corner or why criminals and mentally ill people continue to lie when there is concrete proof of their lying.  As the child matures possible societal solutions to protect law abiding citizens should be discussed in the family as it would help the child understand the consequences of making damaging choices.

The shame of being dependent on government welfare, mental institutions and prison

should be seen by the youngster as the end result of self-destructive behavior. The youngsters should learn that these behaviors are formed by years of ignoring doing the right thing. The fear of failing to be a respected citizen can be a great motivator for youngsters to not be tempted to start down the road to a life of immorality.

Modern parents with younger children are under the illusion that they will always be physically present to protect them. It is hard for them to realize how quickly the time goes by and how short is the time to prepare the child for the presence of evil. These parents are living in a blissful ignorance until an unpleasant incident opens up their eyes. They finally realize the inevitable fact that they may not always have the power and ability or be there to help them.

It is the duty of parents to be wise and realize the best protection they can give their child is awareness of the importance of natural consequences to one’s behavior. To fully comprehend the  results of living a moral or an immoral life, specific facts have to be laid on the table. It does no good and much harm to pretend evil does not exist. This approach leaves one's child defenseless in the world where evil exists.

It is one thing to over burden a child with worries that are out of his power to control. It is a totally different thing to leave your child vulnerable without necessary survival skills and knowledge that would protect him from naively walking into an avoidable situation.  A series of bad choices can alter the course of having an opportunity to live a good and worthwhile life.

Knowledge is power. Parents: teach, not shield your children from the harsh realities of life to protect them. The parents’ failure to teach their children the signs of deviant people’s behavior is putting them in a dangerous position.

Dr. Maglio is an author and owner/director of Wider Horizons School, a college prep program. You can visit Dr. Maglio at www.drmaglio.blogspot.com.

BEING NON JUDGMENTAL ENDS IN CHAOS

BEING NON JUDGMENTAL ENDS IN CHAOS

By Domenick J. Maglio PhD Traditional Realist

Being non-judgmental has taken on a positive connotation in our culture. Our society has moved away from consequences due to false self-esteem and our welfare mentality. The only people punished are those who insist on traditional Christian-Judaic values. Being bad is good, good is bad. These upside down values are leading us down a rapid decline in our standards of behavior and morals. We are on a trajectory to chaos.

It is true, many people of our older generations have put people with different cultural values down without understanding them. The need to be superior to others has often been the motivation in shunning people with different values.

The modern “anything goes” attitude, which is really scoffing at traditional values has severe consequences in our society. Today we are facing a more destructive behavior of not noticing a person who is being offensive or harmful to another. These obnoxious, belittling behaviors have lost their stigma and are becoming acceptable. A vulgar person might be cursing another in front of youngsters. An individual might be speaking loudly on his cell phone or watching a pornographic video in a public place or putting down his spouse or child for everyone to hear.

We are often cowardly ignoring any inappropriateness even those behaviors we know are harmful to that individual. In our politically correct culture, we are being conditioned to keep our mouths shut so as not to offend someone that is publically offensive to those around him.

Senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan, coined the phrase, "deviancy down" to highlight when a society begins to tolerate the intolerable. At this point evil behavior explodes. He noted the break-up of the family not only produced emotional scars for all of its members but created a vacuum where moral values were no longer communicated from one generation to another.

Lowering our institutional standards in education, media, judiciary, military and religion has had disastrous effects. Grades are inflated in our schools to appease parents and to maintain student’s false high esteem. The progressive state run media does not report the true news story but creates a narrative to push an ideological agenda. The courts, the DOJ and military are not sending a clear message that there will be serious consequences for disobeying the law.

 Even our churches are not teaching and stressing a clear moral code.  Instead they are communicating a moral relativism that is weakening and undermining the conscience of our populace. Too many religious people have remained silent when members of the church have sexually molested children. It is unconscionable when a person representing the church takes sexual advantage of a child.  When the people of the congregation are tolerant of any horrific act it makes them accomplices to the crime. This non-judgmental silence of people in many institutions is making it an easier environment for “anything goes” immoral behavior to prevail.

The softening of our moral conscience by our institutions is making it that much tougher for God fearing and loving families to keep high moral standards. Citizens are becoming demoralized with being punished for maintaining high standards while irresponsible parents and adults are seen as “cool.”  

We are witnessing an epidemic of parents not motivated to fulfill their duty as parents by not commanding their children to stop inappropriate actions. The parent does not demand an end to the child’s shenanigans as it may appear abusive. Instead many “cool” parents go out of their way to assist their youngsters in illicit behaviors such as underage drinking, drugging and sex.

Often the parent does not put his foot down because the parent does not want to alienate the spouse and suffer the consequences or feel the anger and resentment of the child. They choose to look the other way when the children do something inappropriate not to harm the unnatural, phony friendship with their child. They do not want to be the bad guy as the head of the family.

Mature adults should realize that not stopping negative behavior is a lost opportunity to do one’s moral responsibility.

Maybe it is time we analyze what the non-judgmental mentality is doing to the social fabric of our society. High standards based on moral values and expectations will bring about an upswing in wholesome and productive behaviors. These time-tested traditional moral values will reverse our decadence returning us to peaceful, prosperous stability.

Dr. Maglio is an author and owner/director of Wider Horizons School, a college prep program. You can visit Dr. Maglio at www.drmaglio.blogspot.com.

SUPPRESSING SPANKING HAS INCREASED DISABILITIES

SUPPRESSING SPANKING HAS INCREASED DISABILITIES

by Domenick J. Maglio PhD Traditional Realist

Every year we are inundated with the latest fad childhood disorder. The hits of the year have become recognizable to even the average person who is far removed from the mental health field. ADHD, Autism, Conduct Disorder, Asperger’s and Learning Disorders are just some of the mental disorder hit parade. Bipolar has become a popular diagnosis today for children although not long ago it was considered an inappropriate diagnosis for children due to their normal mood swings. It is not unusual for a child to go from crying to laughing in a moment.

The reason for the epidemic increase in the labeling of children has been blamed on everything imaginable. Some of these are food coloring, chemical imbalance, diet, preservatives in vaccinations, allergies, viruses, power lines, use of electronics, chemicals in the water, and a host of other theories, which have captured some enthusiastic followers.

The most obvious reason for the phenomenal increase in childhood disabilities is taboo in most public discussions: It is spanking. Modern parents no longer feel it acceptable to spank a child for misbehavior.

In our politically correct society, spanking has been equated with abuse and is considered by some officials to be a criminal act. Spanking has not been officially declared illegal by the federal government although the media and educational institutions have indoctrinated people from youngsters to middle age adults that it is a horrific act, which it is not.

Spanking, like appeasing, medicating, ignoring, lecturing carried to an extreme can be abusive. In a more moderate form spanking can be the best teaching strategy to assist a child in remembering not to do a particular behavior.

Moderate spanking is not only, not abusive, but is the most effective means of extinguishing a potentially harmful behavior and obtaining an individual’s attention. When "stop" is stated as a sharp command it often works. Listening to a parent’s command can prevent a calamity. In the case where the child does not respond to the command, a slap on the backside will get the child's immediate attention long enough for him to stop the action.

Not only does moderate spanking set limits, it will decrease impulsive behavior. An uninhibited child is often a dangerous child to himself and others.  He does dangerous things before thinking of the consequences of his actions. A spank is a consequence that imprints in the child’s mind that doing a dangerous action will cause him pain.

Once the child realizes the parent means business, the testing of limits becomes less attractive to the child and normally the frequency declines. The toddler gains awareness of the parent's presence and even eye contact can stop the child in his tracks. This has historically been called “the evil eye” and has been a powerful tool in the parent’s quiver for controlling the child’s behavior. The youngster has learned to respond appropriately to the power of his parent’s presence.

Even when the parent is not present, this training would influence the child’s behavior. A child with a strong parental authority figure will have that parent's face flash in front of his mind when contemplating a ridiculous action. The thought of the parent's reaction before he acts is a natural and effective inhibitor of potential reckless behavior.

The discouraging of spanking and the encouraging of the child to think he is equal with the parent have been destructive changes in establishing appropriate behavior. This weakening of standards and expectations, which has left children vulnerable to be diagnosed with some type of mental disorder. Ever since we have de-legitimized traditional parenting beginning a half century ago, children do not listen as well and have less respect for their weak, wanting-to-be-liked parents.

The duty of the parent has radically shifted. It has transformed from a trainer of children who increases his child's chance of survival to a playmate. The parent as an equal is supposed to instantaneously provide everything the child wants to make him or her happy.  This has had a radical effect on our children’s attitudes, thinking and behaving.

This transformation to a permissive, materialistic "buddy" has been the number one reason for the increase in childhood disabilities and emotional unhappiness. Children no longer are being taught to appreciate the strength of their parents' guidance. Parents have the experience to assist their child to navigate the difficulties of life. Any unnecessary traumatic event can negatively alter the course of a child’s mental and physical health. Growing up is dangerous enough but without the parent’s establishing parameters it is a disaster waiting to happen.

In the long run appropriate spanking is more humane than the abdication of the parental responsibility, medicating a child into submission, and labeling a child with a disability that follows him for the rest of his life.

Children that have parents who care enough to say “no” and give an occasional spanking develop emotional security. They have the discipline necessary to become self-reliant individuals.

Dr. Maglio is an author and owner/director of Wider Horizons School, a college prep program. You can visit Dr. Maglio at www.drmaglio.blogspot.com.

GOVERNMENT DOES NOT GET IT

GOVERNMENT DOES NOT GET IT

By Domenick J. Maglio PhD. Traditional Realist

Local, state and federal governments are proceeding with business as usual. This is the same business of spending the taxpayer’s money without any concern for the citizens having to pay for their recklessness. The problem is we are drastically out-of-balance from years of mismanaging our coffers as if there was no limit to our treasury.

Politicians should no longer parse words to pull the wool over voter’s eyes. After years of over spending we cannot continue to increase the size of government. In the past decade our federal government has doubled in size and is quickly approaching $17 trillion in debt with no end in sight. The USA is heading toward financial collapse.

Our local, state and federal politicians continue to hire entry level workers and administrators at top dollar.  The county and government school administrators are not choosing to increase the responsibilities of administrators to cut the number of staff needed. The “bottom line” does not seem to matter. Instead these career school administrators and career politicians increase their kingdoms, which justifies their compensation packages.  They remain popular with their staff because of their featherbedding of public workers and many other citizens by continuing to spend taxpayer’s money on unnecessary services and give-away programs.

At least the federal government can print more money to cover their spending addiction. Local and state government can only hold out their hands for a bail-out by the feds. Through “quantitative easing”, the Feds printing of billions of dollars is devaluating our dollars and robbing frugal citizens of their assets. Anyone who buys gasoline experiences the real impact of our deflated US dollars. It is a major cause of the extraordinary high prices of a gallon of gas and almost everything else.

Our insane spending spree is not isolated to one political party. It is both republicans and democrats who belong to the ruling class that have taken the expedient route of giving their constituents what they desire to win the votes to continue in office.

To get things back in balance we must cut spending not increase taxes that are already strangling our economic growth.  We should unleash small business by decreasing government regulation and taxes that will grow our GDP (Gross Domestic Product).

We should demand the end of the symbiotic entanglement between government and international corporations. These large corporations provide donations to gain the ability to influence the writing of laws to favor them and crush competition from smaller businesses. Government that can pick winners and losers is destructive to maintaining our middle class. The revolving door between the federal government and corporate executives has led to rampant corruption and inefficiency.

We do not need more taxes but fewer taxes. The local, state and federal policies of increasing taxes on citizens during a depressed economy to maintain or increase the size of government is the ultimate insanity.  The Soviet Union’s leaders denied the financial collapse in the late 1980s in their military buildup. We are on a similar trajectory. Our elected officials need to make the hard choices to reverse the out-of-control spending of money we do not have. Our spending is unsustainable.

We should be incentivizing the private sector to grow, reduce the federal government and save money by cutting the redundancy, inefficiency and outright fraud in our bloated government. Citizens will experience some inconveniences as we shift the money to get the most efficient use of it.

We need people in leadership positions with vision and courage to do what is necessary to put us on solid financial footing. Americans need leaders like Scott Walker of Wisconsin who put his job and life on the line to put his state on solid financial ground.  He cut back on benefits to public workers even after violently staged demonstrations and threats.

Business as usual would again mean a return to responsible fiscal policies. We must cut ridiculous give-away programs such as free cell phones for our nation to survive and once again prosper. We the People must stand firm and speak loudly in order for government officials to get it.

Dr. Maglio is an author and owner/director of Wider Horizons School, a college prep program. You can visit Dr. Maglio at www.drmaglio.blogspot.com.