ONLY FOCUSING ON A CHILD'S EMOTIONAL HAPPINESS IS A POISON PILL

ONLY FOCUSING ON A CHILD’S EMOTIONAL HAPPINESS IS A POISON PILL

BY Domenick J. Maglio PhD. Traditional Realist

In an affluent society like America it is understandable why many modern parents have selected children’s emotional happiness as the main focus of child rearing. It is a pleasant, simplistic, warm and fuzzy strategy to deal with one’s child. The essence of this childrearing approach is to minimize the conflicts with one’s child through being reasonable by appeasing the child’s feelings often with material objects, gifts, permissive standards, expectations and soothing lectures.

The theory behind this approach sounds great as the parents are supposed to elevate the child to an equal level with them that will eliminate power conflicts. The only problem to this utopian strategy is that it does not work. The child being young and inexperienced will be delighted to be in this catering relationship. The serious problems rarely arise for parents and children until the later years.

Parents’ use of positive rewards will temporarily give power to redirect the child’s behavior with no fuss. As the child’s demands increase in number and frequency the past rewards lose their magic to shift the child’s actions to a more parent-desired pattern. The strength of negotiation switches from parent to their offspring as the child learns the art of negotiation and open defiance.  They become house lawyers with an attitude.

The toddler learns to escalate negative reactions to the parent’s wishes. They have learned there will be no negative consequences. This appeasing style of handling and shaping the child’s development becomes less functional. The child rejects the parent’s beginning bribes that are offered. It learns intuitively that the longer he holds out and the more outrageous his behavior the greater and better will be the parent’s offers to get him to comply.

This process is similar to hostage negotiations. Once the authorities meet the hostage demands the asking price for the next incident becomes more exorbitant and the number increases greatly. The bad guys are emboldened to expand their operation and price for the release. The child’s disobedience to the parents’ wishes reaches the level of obnoxiousness and rewards to bribe them more and more outlandish.

A negotiation from weakness is a losing proposition. No matter how emotionally calm, accepting or empathetic the parents are to the child he will not be reasonable. In fact he will be more emphatic in their right to do whatever he decides.  They have learned the art of tantrums to get their way. They are young children who have not yet entered the age of reason. They fight for what they want until it is given to them.

Even when these children are able to reason, they have learned that firm and unreasonable demands can rule the decision making process. The parents learn that the aggravation, hassle and war will easily and quickly be stopped by just complying with the child’s request.

The problem with parents dealing with their youngsters from weakness is the parents abdicate their power in losing battle after battle until the child is in charge of the relationship.  This means the child has never learned to have boundaries or limits, which increases the potential for problems. When the child confronts higher authority figures that punish their acting out, the parents become embarrassed, unmasked as weak to other adults and especially their child.  

Eventually the child has not a shred of gratefulness for what the parents have provided. They learn to resent their parents for not giving more of everything to them. The affluent lifestyle the parents gave them is never enough since other friends and neighbors have more. The child’s early blissfulness turns to anger towards everyone who does not cater to his or her self-centered view of the world. This is a concrete sign of what today is called “affluenza.”

The selfish entitlement-brats are the product of the “emotionally happy child rearing” practices their parents employed. It is a strategy that is destined to have destructive results. It is a poison pill administered often by well-intentioned people.  It sets up the offspring for anything but a fulfilling and satisfying life. It does disable the youngster from being a caring and productive person. Moreover, the parents will realize the reality that their children will expect more and more from them even after they become adults. These now self-centered adults have little compunction to give love, help or even their time to their now senior parents.

A parent focusing on their child’s happiness is blinded to the child’s need to conquer many difficult levels of frustration on his own. Parents should challenge and encourage their child to struggle through their difficulties until they discover appropriate solutions. This might be a bitter medicine but it is preferable to a deadly one.

Domenick Maglio, PhD. is a columnist carried by various newspapers, an author of several books and owner/director of Wider Horizons School, a college prep program. Dr. Maglio is an author of weekly newspaper articles, INVASION WITHIN  and a new just published book, entitled, IN CHARGE PARENTING In a PC World. You can visit Dr. Maglio at www.drmaglio.blogspot.com.

HATE SPEECH IS ERODING AND COULD END FREE SPEECH

HATE SPEECH IS ERODING AND COULD END FREE SPEECH

By Domenick J. Maglio PhD. Traditional Realist

The Charlottesville incident shows that telling the truth is no longer politically correct.  President Trump, after emphatically denouncing the white supremacists by name, said that both sides were to blame for the violence in Charlottesville, Virginia. He was condemned for saying this. He noted it would be evident on the videos, which showed that the anarchist, Antifa members, many of whom were wearing black masks and carrying bats studded with nails, were chasing down protestors and attacking cars with their bats. This protest was in part a response to out-of-control progressive mobs destroying confederate monuments while the police did nothing to prevent it. The absence of police establishing law and order emboldens lawlessness and further insanity.

Trump was correct there was violence on both sides. White supremacists are despicable but so are adults who “party” by destroying property or are paid professional anarchists. The videos proved the alt-left was swinging clubs as they came “charging as they say, at the alt right.” Police in Charlottesville did not separate groups as they did in Boston. There appeared to be another “stand-down order” from higher officials, which would be another example of politicizing the police making anarchists a protected class. Previously this has happened with Antifa anarchists on college campuses and the Occupy Wall Street movement. Not enforcing laws should be horrifying to all since it leads to further lawlessness.

In the Boston “Free Speech” protest the police were in charge keeping both groups separated. The only arrests were 33 mostly radical leftist protestors since the majority of the “Free Speech” protestors left early. Most importantly the Boston police separated the two sides to prevent violence unlike what was done in Charlottesville where the two groups were allowed to confront each other. These police did the job of setting impartial limits and did not take sides.

President Obama did call for a national dialogue on race when he was in the White House.  He lectured us. There was no debate and probably no intention of one, at the same time progressives introduced a “thought control” element that limited open dialogue. Hate speech was emphasized which smothers any free exchange of ideas. Any citizen who questioned this notion of hate speech was immediately smeared as a racist, homophobe, misogynist, Islamophobe, xenophobe and many other pejoratives. Americans were supposed to accept all “protected classes” with no discussion or questions or face punitive consequences. There was no referendum on these radical changes of dividing America into special untouchable groups that were supposed to correct social injustice.

Many people in protected classes are enraged that US history has been imperfect. They want to eradicate many past events and political figures that offend them even though they lived in a different cultural era.  These groups believe they have a right to dictate to the majority. Discrediting our national heroes and their monuments to expunge their memory and significance thus the important lessons of history is ignorant. This is the same technique used by Isis in obliterating ancient religious monuments in order to eliminate competing beliefs.

As Mark Anthony stated in Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar, ” The evil that men do lives after them. The good is often interred with their bones.” Robert E. Lee was considered a great man by both the north and the south. Lee was recruited to lead by both armies before the Civil War. After the war he became president of Washington Lee University for six years and earned accolades from almost everyone. Robert E. Lee freed his slaves upon his death.

Franklin D. Roosevelt dedicated the Jefferson memorial in Washington, DC in 1943. It is still one of the most venerated sites in the capitol. George Washington was considered a great warrior, thinker and was beyond reproach as the first president. Yet too many radical anarchists are advocating eliminating him from our proud history. Eliminating a nation’s history is an effective way to strengthen one’s power base and destroy opposition. Mao, Stalin, Castro, Chavez and the 1960’s USA counter culture revolution are a few examples of this practice of attempting to alter history and transform society.

This tactic of dividing America into groups has been used throughout history to galvanize power. It is divide and conquer to gain and maintain control over tribes, nations and civilizations. Fomenting hatred among people is destabilizing to society. “Identity politics” has divided, not united our nation. This strategy decreases the power of the people while increasing that of the ruling class.

Free speech has been the hallmark of the US constitution and nation. It is the 1st Amendment of our constitution. Our founders believed that citizens would be able to critically think when they had access to the free market of ideas. They did not limit but protect it. These wise men limited the power of the government to encourage debate and give power to the people’s representatives.

When speech is disallowed through using politically correctness, truth will ultimately be stifled and crushed. Citizens will begin to look over their shoulder or under their chairs for recording devices and will finally stop talking and questioning out of fear of government eavesdropping. This is the path to totalitarian thought control ruled by a small elite political class.

The Rev. Martin Luther King changed our nation through peaceful resistance. He noted that we should judge each other by our character not our skin color. He was not revengeful. He understood violence and hatred would only create more of each. His goal was not the altering of history and truth through identity politics but to bring all Americans together as one. Open discussion and education, not shouting down the other side, leads to greater understanding of the issues.

When government dictates how and what constitutes free speech it censors our speech and it is no longer free. Free speech is the road to liberty and prosperity. “Hate speech,” identity politics and violence by all means necessary will end in a “banana republic” or in a repressive government without any individual freedom or power except for that held by the miniscule elite class. The choice is ours.

Domenick Maglio, PhD. is a columnist carried by various newspapers, an author of several books and owner/director of Wider Horizons School, a college prep program. Dr. Maglio is an author of weekly newspaper articles, INVASION WITHIN  and a new just published book, entitled, IN CHARGE PARENTING In a PC World. You can visit Dr. Maglio at www.drmaglio.blogspot.com.

AMERICA IS ACCEPTING INSANE THINKING AND BEHAVIOR

AMERICA IS ACCEPTING INSANE THINKING AND BEHAVIOR

By Domenick j. Maglio PhD., Traditional Realist

Our culture has gone through drastic changes in a short time. In the 1960s we experienced the Sexual Revolution and the expansion of dumping mentally ill patients directly into communities. They basically opened the doors of mental institutions and left them out on their own. At the same time our public school education was beginning to be dumbed down, law enforcement was handcuffed and permissive child rearing became common. The 1960s was a cultural revolution.

This “deviancy down” of our society was well expressed by NY Senator Patrick Moynihan who encapsulated this process of obsessive tolerance for self destructive and criminal behavior.  The weakening of the stigma against anti social behavior opened up the floodgates for more of the same.

Half a century later we are living in a “new normal” that is hard to comprehend and even digest. How and why did we allow this corruption of our society to take place? Many of us view this cultural transformation as decadence gone wild, yet many other Americans believe in being non-judgmental and letting everyone “do his own thing.” The difficulty for society with everyone doing his own thing is it breeds confusion, discord and inferior production.  All behavior, moral or immoral, accurate or sloppy, positive or negative addiction, has become morally equivalent.

Manners and proper ways to do almost anything have become passé while lazy and destructive behaviors have become chic. The adult expectations of maturing into a self reliant person have been replaced by youngsters doing anything they want while thinking they are smarter than their parents or anyone else. The young people do not think they have to focus and practice to develop positive skills and habits. They possess a false high self-esteem that is weakening the respect between generations and among individuals.

The cavalier attitude that all behavior, morals and thinking are equal is encouraging people to believe whatever they do is as good or even better than others when they clearly are not. There are no longer viable methods, standards, expectations and goals to inspire all of us to improve. The non-existent blueprint for excellence has limited people from achieving goals. Instead people have started to do as little as possible and develop a “just get it done” attitude. Lack of direction has seriously impaired adults from being responsible to family, friends and country. Allegiance and cohesiveness of citizens to their country, the United States, and to each other has been significantly reduced.

When we witness bizarre behavior or stupid thinking on someone’s part most will ignore it rather than say something to help the person by correcting him. Many of us do not have the courage to get involved or be rejected for our beliefs. This has increased a lack of community or humane concern for others. It is a product of our being indoctrinated by nonjudgmental thinking.

The inability of authority figures to speak up and tell those they are responsible for what is best for them is hurting our children. We were told by permissive-materialistic child rearing experts to go along with the fantasy when a child has imaginary friends. Currently when a child hits his parent, many educated people will not be upset or shocked by this. The child is expressing his anger. Fast-forward to youngsters who want to change their gender and are no longer told this is unworkable. Instead, we play along with this idea giving it credence and even encouraging it. Other children are entertaining the idea that they want to be considered other than human such as an animal, plant or object. We have legitimized this bizarre notion by naming it “other kin. We have entered the twilight zone.

In our schools students and their parents both expect high grades without the child earning them. Most students have been encouraged to think they have the right to be admitted to any university of their choice even though they have limited academic skills. They believe once they graduate from any course of study in a university they have a right to receive a high paying job. Most of these students are continually being sold a ridiculous bill of goods that has no bearing on reality. They are being taught at universities that after receiving a degree they are more knowledgeable and educated than people who have been in the field for years.  Our future lies in these young people and this segment of the population is being taught to be delusional.

The more parents, teachers, psychologists, law enforcement, judges and all other authority figures, including the general adult public, allow insane, illogical thinking and dangerous behavior, the more all of us will be tainted and affected by more abnormal behavior. Not only will we become oblivious and even more tolerant of dysfunctional people but unconsciously begin to mimic and praise the abnormal behaviors.

The most effective means of combatting this invasion of deviants throughout the country is for every authority figure in the family and community to directly confront it. The adults have to be more forceful to educate people on the absurdity of these disabling actions and thinking. Every role model has to carry himself in a dignified manner when teaching our easily influenced children.

Domenick Maglio, PhD. is a columnist carried by various newspapers, an author of several books and owner/director of Wider Horizons School, a college prep program. Dr. Maglio is an author of weekly newspaper articles, INVASION WITHIN and a new just published book, entitled, IN CHARGE PARENTING In a PC World. You can visit Dr. Maglio at www.drmaglio.blogspot.com.

A POLITICAL COUP OF TRUMP WOULD END THE REPUBLIC

A POLITICAL COUP OF TRUMP WOULD END THE REPUBLIC

By Domenick J. Maglio PhD., Traditional Realist

The election result was a shock to the progressive elites and ill informed supporters. There was a similar reaction the limited government believers had with the election of Barak Obama. The major difference was after a short interval of stunned paralysis, these patriotic Americans went on with their lives accepting the sanctity of the electoral process.

After this election the progressive’s stated policy was RESIST the Trump agenda. That is a misnomer. Instead it is a repudiation of the 2016 election results and the attempt to nullify Donald Trump’s right to serve as president. In other words it is an attempted coup by the Washington establishment: Many republican and democrat politicians, deep state officials, lobbyists, media and any D.C. power brokers who have a vested interest in the status quo are doing everything in their power to ruin Trump’s appeal and remove him from office. This coup would not end with this president. Impeachment advocate, Rep. Maxine Waters (D, CA), stated that when Trump goes, concerning Vice President, Mike Pence, “ we’ll get him next.” This attempted coup is to bring the progressives back into power.

President Trump’s unexpected victory was emotionally devastating to the ruling class. They devised an elaborate system to maintain control of their power. This system includes putting in place indoctrinated progressive activists that form a formidable network to promote and protect the progressive agenda. These committed know-it-alls were groomed in universities, the media, federal positions, legal and diplomatic services where the progressives are attracted to

high guaranteed salaries and political influence.

It is a tight group of ideologues who are always in the right position to further the progressive agenda. They attack anyone who thinks differently. The average middle class individual is seen as a “deplorable” hick who is the cause of retarding the social progressive agenda. Progressives believe these people should be disenfranchised from having a voice in government then be re-educated to be more politically correct to believe like them.

President Trump with all his quirks and Tweeting has led the way for the majority of non-elite, everyday believers in America, to once again speak their minds.  This has awakened a majority of the previously politically uninvolved middle class Americans. The Tea Party started the process of organizing many Americans who were fed up with the socialism being force fed to them by the government, experts and the media. President Donald Trump has taken up the mantle of this movement rebranding it “America First.”

President Trump’s support has been greatly underestimated by the skewed propaganda polls of the establishment. The progressives were pushed toward insane thinking and behavior by the Trump election. The establishment is still unable to comprehend that the longer the “Russian collusion” and the Muller “witch hunt” go on, the more the silent middle class is witnessing the underhanded progressive abuse of power. This awareness is creating a substantial backlash of non-elites, hard working citizens who will be the downfall of the goal of progressive statism and the ludicrous one-world government fantasy.

At this moment in the USA the progressive elites have decided to put the pedal to the metal to overturn at all costs the American people’s choice of Donald Trump as our duly elected President of the United States. It started by Jill Stein raising millions of dollars to recount the votes of several states, which only confirmed his victory. When that failed they tried to intimidate Electoral College electors sworn to Trump to vote for anyone else. James Comey, head of the FBI, leaked his self-written memos to the press to force a special prosecutor, Robert Muller, who is Comey’s good friend, to look into anything and everything of Trump’s over the past 40 years. The Russian Collusion fake news saga was plastered everyday over the airways, which turned out to be a dismal failure. The Muller/establishment’s last gasp of pinning something or anything on Trump while avoiding the obvious corruptive actions of the progressive leadership has been a mind-boggling exercise of deception.

President Trump is certainly not the only president who has been harassed by the opposition party. Jefferson’s election against John Adams was a bitter pill to swallow. Andrew Jackson and Lincoln were loved or hated by different segments of society. Lincoln paid the ultimate price with his life for keeping the USA united. Truman and Reagan’s surprise victories led to much skepticism and anger. The hatred towards Reagan was so intense that after only two months in office he was shot several times by a mentally ill individual. He nearly did not survive. The attempted assassin, John Hinkley, stated his motivation for this violent act was to impress Jody Foster, a Hollywood actress known for her hatred of the president. Both of these honest men were savagely attacked but turned out to be great presidents.

In this election the citizens have spoken with their ballots. There is no rational reason to destroy the integrity of our election process. This would put a dagger in our constitutional republic and our liberty.

The only honorable thing the establishment has to do is to wait the few years and prepare for the next presidential election. The election process illustrates the brilliance of our founding fathers to avoid the lunacy we are presently enduring and the potential for another civil war.

Domenick Maglio, PhD. is a columnist carried by various newspapers, an author of several books and owner/director of Wider Horizons School, a college prep program. Dr. Maglio is an author of weekly newspaper articles, INVASION WITHIN  and a new just published book, entitled, IN CHARGE PARENTING In a PC World. You can visit Dr. Maglio at www.drmaglio.blogspot.com.