ADORING YOUR CHILD IS NOT ENOUGH
ADORING YOUR CHILD IS NOT ENOUGH
By Domenick J. Maglio Ph.D., Traditional Realist
You give but little
when you give of your possessions, it is when you give of yourself that you
truly give. Kalil Gibran
The current ideal concept for parents is that children
should be happy to develop automatically into a well-rounded human being.
Unconditional love received by the child would be an elixir for their entire
development. A loved child would naturally blossom for they feel the safety and
protection of the most significant people in their early life: their parents. Only
adoring parents will produce productive, successful children.
It is obvious that a child facing his early life without
parental love is more prone to psychological issues. The lack of having a
significant person to meet his needs and wants leaves him deprived, insecure
and depressed in too many instances. The child will suffer scars although going
down this path could temper him to be tougher and more independent to struggle
his way to success.
Living for one’s child is becoming more prevalent with a
proliferation of single child families. Even with larger families, parents feel
obligated to fulfill their children’s unlimited demands for expensive, novel
experiences and objects to demonstrate their love. Parents who instantly meet
the needs of their precious child’s every need and want can smother their child’s
development of independence while fostering parasitic behavior. A child highly
dependent on his parents can become a highly dysfunctional adult.
“Affluenza,” the ability of parents to give their children
whatever and whenever they want has not
produced happy children. It has infected the spirit and soul of children. Many
of the children who are given everything to appease them wind up without any
concept of gratitude or empathy for others.
In our modern world love has become the giving of things
rather than spending time and energy helping the child be a well rounded
person. Parents sharing practical skills, knowledge and moral values assist the
child to better face the future.
Children inculcated with moral values will have a moral compass. Without
parents teaching these moral lessons children are vulnerable to negative peer
pressure and evil.
Discipline is a higher form of love than mere affection and
or be a dispenser of physical things. Disciplining a child to develop positive
habits, strong work ethic, common sense, good manners, are gifts that are more
complex and meaningful than simply transferring monetary wealth to a child.
Anything that comes easy leaves just as easily. Trust fund babies are a
testimony to this truth.
An individual who knows he is loved by others has a
wonderful foundation for building emotional stability and self-worth, although the
reality is these relationships will eventually end with death leaving the offspring
to face reality without parental protection and assistance. Parents who do not
give the child the necessary means to deal with the difficult realities of life
will not fulfill their sacred duty of a parent to prepare the child to be able
to live independently.
The parents communicate wisdom, giving the child a valuable
gift. They become an integral part of the child’s thinking and behaving. These
lessons in life strengthen when the positive results are seen over and over
again.
Disciplining one’s child to deal with all aspects of reality
is indispensible for his well- being and success. The child needs and deserves
discipline. When the child is wrong he should be corrected in doing simple
tasks such as chores as well as acting appropriately in a multitude of
situations. A child is a work in progress that needs parental parameters to put
him and keep him on the right track.
Discipline training is an essential part of loving ones
child. It does not produce warm fuzzies but it is love. This training approach
will be acknowledged and appreciated if he has matured when he has reached
adulthood. The young adult will be grateful that his parents did love him
enough to demand high standards to become an independent and successful adult.
Domenick Maglio, PhD. is a columnist carried by various
newspapers, an author of several books and owner/director of Wider Horizons
School, a college prep program. You can visit Dr. Maglio at
www.drmaglio.blogspot.com.
Labels: discipline, success